"Yes, my sweet girl." She beamed at me and cupped my face in her hands. "I'm honored to be your mother. Every single day you make me proud."
"Love you," I told her, blinking away the tears that tumbled for a different reason.
"I love you, too." She kissed my forehead and I smiled. "Let's get something to eat and book an appointment with Anita. Okay?"
For once, I agreed to her encouragement of support. Feeling anxious or having a random panic attack was one thing, losing time to memories again was another. It hadn't happened in a few years and I didn't want to start down that path.
Rebecca drove me home on her way to work, and I called out. I sent Sam a text to let her know I was going home, but she didn't answer right away. That meant she was in surgery or with a patient.
I found my apartment in perfect condition, with nothing out of place. Alex stocked the fridge and cupboards with the usual fare. In my bedroom, with fresh linens and its standard tidied presentation, I flopped down on the bed and let out a sigh. I sent Alex a message to ask where she was and let my phone fall at my hip.
Laundry. Where R U?
Upstairs.
BRT.
I covered my face and allowed myself to sink into the comfort of home. It wrapped around me as it always did. Cozy between my cases of books and knick-knacks, hanging plants in the frosted window that overlooked the alley, and the duvet that Rebecca's mother made me when I first arrived in their home. Safety and comfort found me here, and I embraced it while hugging a pillow to my chest.
My phone rang and I swiped it the minute I saw Sam's name appear. "Hi."
"Hi, my sweet. You're home?"
"I am."
"By yourself?"
"Rebecca had to go to work. Alex is somewhere."
"Are you okay?"
"Just tired. I stayed home today. I have to see Anita tomorrow."
"I'll take you. I should be done here in about an hour, baby. You sound sad."
"I am. Can you come here after work?" I gulped down the tears that threatened to fall again.
"I wouldn't be anywhere else. Have you eaten today?"
"A little cereal."
"Okay. I'll bring something. Rest, baby. Is Alex home?"
"She's downstairs, but will come up soon."
"All right." Sam sounded just as tired as I felt. "Is there anything else you need, Rosie?"
"No." I sniffled and draped my arm over my face. "Just you."
"You already have me. See you soon, baby."
"Okay." A small smile tugged the corner of my mouth at the same time the bed sank by my knees. "Bye, Sam."
"Bye, baby."
We hung up and I removed my arm to see Alex crawling up the bed. She flopped down and grabbed me into a rough hug. We curled up on the bed together in a pseudo-spoon position and I let out a sigh.
"We used to call this the orphan cuddle, remember?" she said, resting her chin on my shoulder.