Page 134 of Nocere

"Doctor Flynn?" called the woman on the phone.

"Fine, Perez. If I walk into a goddamn mess, it's your head on the block," Sam spat, her entire body tensing before we sat up together. She hung up the phone and tossed it on the nightstand with a clatter. I placed my hand on her back and she started before leaning her elbows on her knees. "I don't want to leave you."

"I know." I leaned my chin on her shoulder and it made her smile. "I'll be sad if something happens to another person because we were too emotionally drained to help them. Go help then come back to me."

"Promise to stay with Rebecca?" She held her hand to me and I took it.

"I promise," I declared, giving her hand a squeeze.

We broke apart so Sam could pull on her shoes, and I watched as she fixed her hair into a tight ponytail. She gazed at me in the mirror and I smiled at the way her eyes twinkled in the early morning daylight peeking through the window.

I walked her to the door, in the gentle hurry that neither of us enjoyed, and she turned to kiss me. When we parted, she placed her index finger against my lips as if stopping me from confessing the feelings preparing to seep from them. She warred with herself, evident in her flickering gaze. I nodded and she pulled me into a hug.

"I'll text you when I'm on my way back," she said, rubbing my back in firm circles.

"Okay. Be safe."

She nodded as we parted ways. I waited until she drove off before turning back inside. I drew in a deep breath, and once alone with myself, it took twenty seconds before my resolve crumbled. I stood there, in the hall, listening to myself shout at my mother and her repeating my name over and over. Memories flooded me and I let them, because it was easier and because if I fought them, it made everything worse.

I thought about my grandmother, and the way her cooking always made the house feel cozy and warm. When I told Rebecca how we used to make apple pies together in the Fall, Rebecca bought all the ingredients and I made them with her in honor of my grandmother. At sixteen, I couldn't remember a happier moment. My thoughts wandered back in time, bouncing all over the place until the faint physical memories rounded off with an aching belly. I let out a soft sob, and the sound of my own voice grounded me back to reality.

The whole house filled with light now that morning had set in, and fear stabbed me in the chest when I noticed how much time must've passed. Rebecca rushed out of the kitchen, her eyes wide with surprise when she found me in the foyer by the front door.

"Rosie?" She said my name on bated breath. "What's going on?" She rushed me, already showered and dressed in her work clothes, and grabbed me in a hug.

"Wh-what time is it?" I asked while hugging her and sniffling. My whole body trembled, mainly from the cold of the hallway.

"About seven-thirty, sweetie. You're freezing." Rebecca urged me into the living room and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders while I stood there gazing down at the way my fluffy socks met the carpet.

"Sam left at six for work."

Rebecca's brow furrowed, and she tilted her head.

"I think I lost some time." I covered my face with my hands and choked on a sob. She pulled me down to the sofa with her, and right away, I fell into my position of old. I sat with my knees tucked against her, facing the back of the sofa while she hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's been difficult lately," crooned Rebecca, stroking my back in soothing circles. "You're all right, Rosie."

"I'm going to have a panic attack." I nearly choked when I said it, my fingers tearing at the fabric of my sweater.

"Let's sing together, okay?" Rebecca hummed in my ear before she started singing Lavender's Blue. I nodded and listened to her when she moved to lyrics.

Rebecca's sweet voice settled me quickly and when she poked my side, it brought a smile to my lips. She held my hand, squeezing it firmly when the song ended.

I leaned back, and she smooched the back of my hand. "Play it for me?" She nodded to the violin still in its place by the piano.

"Okay." I swiped at my eyes and sniffled. She rose to grab it and toted it back over. I sat up straighter, pushing the blanket from my shoulders to accept the instrument.

And just like that, we tumbled back into old routines. I played the pitchy children's song on the violin once through, then a second time accompanied by Rebecca's singing.

In less than half an hour, she had me smiling again. After a quick round of Belle from Beauty and The Beast, I sat down beside Rebecca on the sofa again and she chuckled.

"You always loved that movie," she said, grinning at me. "And were so happy when we saw it on stage."

"I always felt like Belle. Like I stood out and was different. It's kind of still true." I lay the violin across my lap and gave the body of it a fond stroke.

"The best kind of different, sweetheart." She gave my arm a pat. "Feel better?"

"Yeah. Thanks." I drew my gaze from the instrument to meet hers. "Was it okay that I called you my mother?"

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