Page 47 of My Forbidden Professor

Jacob

The shattering finality in Steph’s words leaves me feeling hollowed out and utterly adrift as she slips from my office, tears streaking her beautiful face. Every instinct screams at me to go after her, to gather her up and never let go until I’ve convinced her that my feelings transcend anything as base and transient as money. But I remain rooted in place, helpless to do anything but let her walk away as an aching void opens inside me.

The rest of the day passes in a haze that more resembles a nightmare. I drift from class to class in a wasteland fog, unable to focus on lesson plans or engage my students. By the time the campus has emptied out and night cloaks everything in shadow, I’m holed up alone in my office, methodically grading papers without retaining a single word.

Lack of sleep has etched dark circles under my eyes. My hands tremble whenever my mind strays back to the devastation on Steph’s face when she said we’re over. That haunted, hollowed look of a soul shattered too many times before.

In those moments, an invisible vise constricts around my heart until I can barely draw breath, because the thought of being the one responsible for putting that desolate look in her eyes...it’s unbearable. Worse, it rattles the very foundations of everything I’ve come to know about myself over these past sublime weeks of having Steph in my life.

Of loving her with everything I am, even if I’ve been too blind or too cowardly to fully admit the depth of those feelings until now.

Because that’s the harsh truth finally solidifying into an irrevocable, blazing reality—I love this woman more than I’ve ever loved anyone before.

More than I ever thought it was possible to feel for another human being.

Inescapable, irrevocable love.

Which means walking away, giving up on us because of one sadistic scumbag’s attempts to degrade everything we are...it’s not an option I’m willing to entertain.

I need to fight. Fight for her. For me.

For us.

She’s fought alone for so long.

She’s the strongest person I know. And she doesn’t have to face her demons alone any longer—not if I have any say in the matter.

A renewed sense of determination thrums through me. I surge up from my desk and reach for my coat with hands that have steadied, every nerve-ending in my body electrified and focused.

I’m done. Done letting fear and self-interest dictate the path my life takes. Done letting others sway me from what—who—I want most.

Everything is just dust if I can’t have the woman I love.

I love her. I love her and I fucking let her leave.

Fuck.

Fuck!

She deserves more than a man who stands by and lets others push her around. I will be more than that. I will be everything she needs. And through that, everything I need myself to be.

A burning urgency fills my veins. I need to tell her. She needs to know.

I stride from my office. Students turn to watch me stalk through the corridors. I couldn’t care less about the spectacle I’m no doubt causing. My reputation, my career...it’s hollow without Steph.

She’s everything.

And I’ll be damned if I lose her—lose us—without putting up the fight I should have done. I should have come out swinging right from the start.

Outside, I beeline across campus to Steph’s dorm. Marcus will likely revoke my tenure for this violation, but so be it. It’s time I prioritize what truly matters. For once, he and his blackmail take second place.

Her dorm looms ahead, windows like glowing beacons calling me from uncertainty. My pulse kicks up as I take the stairs two at a time to her floor.

Chest heaving, I approach her door with no plan beyond seeing her gorgeous face again and convincing her I’m all in. Consequences be damned.

She’s worth everything.

And then some.

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