“You must be exhausted, growing another person in your body.”
“Fuck, you can say that again.” She jumped and River felt the baby moving again at the same time.
“Active little guy. You pick out a name yet?”
Jenna shook her head. “We’re still deciding between a few. I never realized how hard it would be to choose a name, but we’ve vetoed so many for different reasons, it’s ridiculous. Finding any that we both like has been a nightmare. I must have spent hours on babynames.com.”
River chuckled again.
They talked and laughed and watched tv, and played games, before they both decided it was time for a nap.
Skye
It was late afternoon when Skye walked in the door to the apartment. He’d seen Jenna’s car in the driveway so he knew she was here with River, and that made him happy.
When he made his way into the bedroom, he couldn’t help the wide smile that split his face. River and Jenna were asleep, curled up in each other’s arms. Jenna’s baby bump pressed against his husband. They looked absolutely adorable together.
Skye pulled out his phone and snapped a picture before sending it to Nick with the caption, Our sleeping beauties.
Aww, Nick replied shortly. Hey, what if I bring dinner over to your place and we can hang out for a bit?
Sounds good, Skye replied. See you soon.
CHAPTER 33
Skye
1 YEAR LATER
I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul (Psalm 31:7)
4 years. It had been 4 years and River was still sick.
Nothing had changed.
And everything had changed.
They still didn’t have answers. And River was still bedbound. Not only that, but River’s jaw pain had gotten exponentially worse over the years. Not only did it lock on occasion but it hurt just to talk, or chew, or sing, or laugh, or even to kiss Skye. When he‘d asked his dentist about it they had recommended seeing a TMJ specialist who had told him that not only did he have TMJ dysfunction, which meant his jaw could lock at any given moment, but he also had arthritis and mild dislocations in both sides of his jaw.
Skye couldn’t believe it. River was only 32, and his body was falling apart bit by bit, year after year. What the hell was going on?
The TMJ specialist had told him that chewing gum on a regular basis would help with the jaw pain, and gave him medication to help him sleep at night and relax his jaw so he wouldn’t clench as much, and also recommended a splint for him to wear at night. Unfortunately that wasn’t covered by insurance and would cost $1200. Their financial situation was a bit better than it had been a year ago, now that River was making a steady income, and Skye had quit his job at the auto parts store, but things were still tight, and if their medical expenses didn’t slow down he’d have to pick up more work again, and he just didn’t know if he could do it. Not when he was finally spending more time with River and feeling less exhausted. The fact that River was making enough money for Skye to quit his second job had been a huge boost for his husband emotionally, and Skye hated the thought of taking that away from him.
He of course insisted that River get the splint because he wanted River to do anything and everything he could to feel better, to be better, but the thought of going back to working weekends on top of his teaching job made him break out in a sweat, his heart racing, and he found himself sitting in his car after work one day, tears sliding down his cheeks, unable to make the drive home.
He felt so hopeless once again.
He was exhausted, physically and emotionally. He felt like every ounce of energy he did have got poured into his work, and into River, and keeping their home together. And he just didn’t know if he could do it anymore. Not that he would ever leave his husband. God, of course not. He loved River, and when he’d promised to stay by his side ‘in sickness and in health’ he’d meant it. But once again he found himself in desperate need of help.
He picked up his phone and dialed and then held it to his ear, wiping tears from his eyes.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Grace answered.
“Hi, Mom,” Skye said, and his voice was shaking, and more tears were falling.
“Oh, Skye,” Grace said, softly. “You sound like you aren’t doing so well.”
Skye sniffled. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”