Page 56 of Fierce Monarch

“I wish I’d had goodbye sex,” I said when her story ended and we were sitting in comfortable silence. The admission hung in the air for a moment. Eventually, Ash hummed in her throat as we stared out the window at the city we loved.

“Too bad there’s no way to make that happen this time.”

“Yeah,” I croaked, taking a sip of my wine. “Too bad.”

Chapter Fifteen

Mari

Having extensive security was great until you needed to sneak out of the house. I waited until Greyson and Dominic were both out—which was almost impossible since Grey’s habit of watching me sleep hadn’t disappeared—before sneaking into the hall and changing. The spare gun under the coffee bar went into my holster since I couldn’t risk bringing my usual one. The moment I went near it, both my men would’ve been on red alert, and I couldn’t have that.

Getting out of the building was an ordeal itself, and I made notes to upgrade a few areas that weren’t technically blind spots but certainly didn’t add any protection to us. Moore and Tennessee would have a fit, but they could get in line because Dominic was going to tan my ass while Greyson watched.

Still, I was alone, and that was what mattered. It wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t have company for this. I needed to see this through so I could move on. I had to move on.

The drive across town was quick since no one else was out at the witching hour. Just me, the night sky, and a million regrets that felt like lead balloons.

By the time I pulled up to the address in Nate’s employment file, I wasn’t sure how to feel.

Sunshine Estates was anything but sunny. The once-white buildings were gray with grime and barely standing, with most walls and windows sporting more cracks than stone. The sidewalk was rubble, the bushes were scraggly and sharp, and the only living greenery was grass that I couldn’t guarantee wasn’t painted to look better. And that was just the outside.

The hallways were a mess, the stair railings so bad they practically waved in the breeze, and by the time I broke in to Nate’s apartment, I was fairly certain I was going to need a tetanus shot.

The part of me that still loved Nate—because a week and an orgy or two wasn’t enough time to get over something like that—was horrified that he’d lived there. I understood that for some people, it was the only option, and I understood as much as I hated that for them. But Nate had more than enough money for something better. Was the apartment a way to get in with me? To make me feel sorry for him and invite him to my place, or was it that Cash didn’t want to spend money where he didn’t need to? Or was it something else entirely?

I was just happy to be free.

Checking the hallway three times, I knelt in front of apartment 4-B and got to work on the lock. It clicked in no time, and even though I felt a sliver of unease, I pushed the door open. Backup would’ve been a smarter plan, especially if it meant letting someone else sweep the place for booby traps or hiding ex-boyfriends, but I didn’t have time. I needed to get back to the Celestine before the boys woke up.

So, I pulled my gun, stepped inside, and shut the door behind me. All right, Beckstrom. Let’s see what you got.

My first time through the apartment, I cleared each of the rooms, on the lookout for weapons, cameras, or alarms. Though I wasn’t sure if Nate would actually kill me, I wasn’t willing to risk dying in this cesspool of a building because of my gut. When I came up with nothing, I pulled out a flashlight and went back through the place, taking my time. I didn’t want anyone interrupting me until I was through.

Every nook and cranny were checked, every floorboard tapped just in case, but I found nothing interesting inside. The apartment was Spartan at best, minimalist in a way that showed it was a place to sleep, not a home. Nothing inside those walls was irreplaceable, and I wondered if that was something the military had taught Nate or if it was something he’d learned from Cash.

The place seemed lonely. Two sets of dishes, though it seemed like that was only so he didn’t have to do dishes as often. Only one chair at the dining table, and it was so scratched and torn I wasn’t sure it would hold even my weight. The couch was lumpy from use, but not by Nate. The two different-sized indents said he’d bought it used and never made his mark.

That was all the man’s life added up to. A few plates and a bed that looked as uncomfortable as everything else inside those four walls. There wasn’t a single picture on the walls or tables, no color at all. It was bland and gray. Boring. It was all so sad.

There has to be more.

I went back to looking, unable to leave well enough alone, even knowing my window of solitude was likely ending. There was food in the fridge that said Nate still came over occasionally, so I needed to finish up and leave.

I was kneeling on the floor beside his bed, chest to the floor to make sure he wasn’t hiding anything underneath, when a throat cleared.

Instinct had me rolling before I’d even registered it, a gun in my hand before my back hit the hardwood. With the lights off, I couldn’t see his face clearly, but I knew who it was. I could feel it in my bones. His words only solidified it.

“What’re you doing here, angel?”

I stayed where I was, feet planted and gun aimed, even though the position was decidedly vulnerable. I hated it, but I hated the idea of trying to get up while possibly losing my shot at him even more.

“Wanted to see what else you lied about.”

He sighed, leaning farther into the wall, hands flat against the plaster like he was trying to tell me he wasn’t dangerous. I wasn’t an idiot. Men didn’t need weapons to be dangerous, and now that I was in a room with Nate again, he felt decidedly like a threat. “I didn’t lie about everything.”

Even knowing that for myself now, I didn’t believe him. I just couldn’t. Words didn’t mean shit anymore, his actions did, and he’d done nothing but be dishonest.

I hated him for how much that loss of trust hurt.

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