Page 114 of Until I Own You

I nibble on my lower lip for a few moments. What to say? How to say it?

“I know you’re my Dom. I know that complicates things. But sometimes, I remember how things used to be, and while it feels so far away from what we have now, it’s confusing.” She tries to keep a smile on her face.

I squeeze her knee. “I was a jackass.”

“Seth.” She giggles.

“No, really, I was.” I lean closer.

She leans away. As she should. We’re not alone after all.

“I was a fucking emotionless robot, and I didn’t know how to be normal around you because I wasn’t supposed to feel the things I was feeling. So, I decided to push you away.”

“And yet, try and keep men from me,” she adds.

I start to respond, to defend myself, but stop in my track.

I want to tell her I was trying to protect her, but that doesn’t measure up. There aren’t good excuses.

I wasn’t kind. I’ve confused her for ten years. That’s not something I can erase in the matter of a month. Especially not when behind closed doors, I’m the Dom I’ve always wanted to be for her.

Out in the world, there are still so many questions for us. Ones I want to answer with my mouth and my hands and three words I’ve never said to any woman except my mother and certainly not in the way I’d like to.

I need to give her more than my dominance.

But I don’t know if I’m anything more than that.

“Then let’s be…” Lovers. Out in the open. For everyone to see. “Let’s be friends. It’s what my mom and Solomon have always wanted. Who cares if it’s confusing to people? We can get to know each other in the light and in the dark.”

Bridget’s smile relaxes. “I’d like that.”

It’s a start. Not the what I want or need. But a start.

“I want to touch you so bad,” I say in a low voice. “Want to stroke the backs of my fingers against your cheek and watch your eyes flutter shut.”

Her head leans to the side almost like she’s feeling the ghost of my hand.

“Want to kiss you,” I mutter.

Bridget laughs, then pulls her knee out from under my hand, sipping her daquiri, which has become her nervous tick.

We’re interrupted by cheering and clapping. Seems like Abigail and Jack’s song has ended.

“Thank you! Thank you, you’ve been a great crowd,” Abigail yells from the stage. She knows how to work a room even if her voice isn’t up to snuff.

Jack is also eating up the applause from the crowd. He’s blowing kisses across the room, one meant for Blonde Pixie cut who is only a short distance away from the stage with her friends.

She giggles.

Guess this trip isn’t totally wasted.

Abigail’s eyes search the room and land on me. “Your turn!”

“Oh, fuck no,” I mutter.

“Please welcome to the stage, Seth and Bridget!” Abigail yells, then gestures to whoever is in charge of the karaoke to play the next song, her finger circling through the air.

Bridget and I look at each other, fear matching fear in our eyes.

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