Page 30 of After All This Time

I’d do it again.

For Lizzie.

I walk towards the sliding glass doors and feel the warm, humid Florida air slapping me in the face. I stand a little toward the left of the doors near a bush full of pink Jessica Pentas until I hear a buzzing noise and run away like a child.

I don’t like anything that crawls, moves, or flies.

Never have and never will.

BELLA

Be there in 5 mins

ME

isn’t texting and driving against the law in the state of florida?

BELLA

For the record, I would never text and drive. I’m speaking into my phone

ME

that’s still texting and driving

BELLA

It’s speaking and driving. there’s a difference

Bella’s Jeep Wrangler turns into the hospital entrance.

She pulls up in front of me, rolling the window down. “Hey, what have I missed?”

“Uh, where’s my car?”

“Oh, you know me, I can’t stay away from this baby for too long.” She slides her hand down the steering wheel and turns her head towards me. “I took yours home, it’s waiting for you. Anyway, fill me in on what's going on.”

I turn my sarcastic charm on. “Oh, you know, just your basic run-of-the-mill stuff. My mom’s best friend’s husband passed away. And her daughter has a long ass road to recovery ahead of her. No biggie.”

I get into the passenger seat, placing my purse in front of me on the floor and buckling my seatbelt in. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

There’s an underlying look of concern that takes over Bella’s face. “Dani, I’m so sorry.” She pulls me in for an embrace that’s squeezing tears out of me. “How’s Laura?”

“She’s a mess.”

“And how are you?” she asks, her eyes searching for an emotional response from me.

“I’d say about the same.”

“Dani, I know this is hard for you. I also know how much Ben meant to you. Please talk to me.”

I bring my legs up to my chest.

God, I hate talking about grief. It’s a vicious never-ending cycle.

I’m staring at the dashboard because I can’t make eye contact with her. “I’ve known Ben since I was a baby. A baby, Bella. Losing him feels like I lost Dad all over again.” I pause for a brief moment. “When my dad passed away, Ben became a father figure for me. He was my personal cheerleader. During the remainder of my high school career, he’d cheer me on. Whether it was for academic achievements or progress I made on my novel despite his son’s disapproval and the fact that we stopped talking altogether. When mom called the Kaplans to tell them I got accepted into SCU, I could hear him cursing and screaming like crazy.” I catch my breath as tears continue streaming out of my eyes. “Watching the way Noah completely shut down after Dr. Miller told him Ben passed away, it felt like I traveled back in time to when Mom told me about Dad passing away.”

Bella looks at me tenderly. “I don’t know what it’s like to lose a father. Not that way. But, I do know this, you’re going to blame yourself. Even if it’s not your fault. I know you did this when your dad passed away. It’s unfortunately become somewhat normal for people who lose their loved ones. Even if they don’t actually pass away. Even if they just leave.” Her lips quiver, eyes blinking to stop the tears from forming. “Dani, you’re one of the strongest people I know. You’re going to get through this. And I know your relationship with Noah hasn’t always been the best. But, you’re going to have to put your animosity aside. He needs you.”

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