Page 62 of Meet Me in Berlin

Casey, Berlin

Sunshine peeks through the gap surrounding the pull-down blind and highlights the honey tones in Holly’s hair. Her lashes, black from last night’s mascara, are stark against her fair skin. Her chest slowly rises and falls with her gentle breaths. My heart balloons, and I can’t wait for her to wake so I can kiss her again. Last night, we drifted in and out of sleep for hours, more sex, more kisses, but it’s not enough. I need to be constantly charged with it.

I run a strand of her hair through my fingers. She belongs in a fairytale – a modern-day Sleeping Beauty. Weirdly, I’ve always had a thing for Sleeping Beauty.

I was seven or eight when I first realised it, sitting at the kitchen table doing homework about fairytales. I’d been staring at the illustration of the prince kissing Sleeping Beauty when Mum said, ‘You all right, darlin’? You’ve been on that page for a long time.’

I lifted my eyes from the book and said matter-of-factly, ‘When I grow up, I want to be that prince.’

Mum gaped at me a beat, then put the butter knife down and walked over to examine the page in my book. She swept her hand over my curls. ‘Do you mean that you don’t feel like a girl?’

‘No. I feel like a girl. I mean, I want to kiss the princess, not the prince.’

‘Oh.’ She crouched down so that we were eye to eye. ‘Have you felt like this with other stories?’

I nodded.

She cupped my face. ‘Well, when you’re older and ready for that, you can kiss whoever you like and be whoever you want to be. You just make sure you always talk to me or your dad about how you’re feeling. And if you can’t talk to us for some reason, you find a good friend, okay? Can you promise me that?’

I nodded again then shot down the hallway, book in hand, and out the front door. I was already calling ‘Jazzy!’ as I hoisted myself over the concrete barricade separating our house from next door, and yelled through the post slot. ‘Jaz, open up!’ Within seconds, Jaz flung the door open. I raced inside, telling her what had happened.

She grabbed the book from me and pressed her mouth hard against the picture of the prince, and did the same to Sleeping Beauty, making loud ‘mmm’ noises. ‘I want to kiss them both,’ she said.

We squealed and collapsed onto her sofa in giggles.

From that day my and Jaz’s parents encouraged us to be open with them, so by the time we were teenagers and became more interested in exploring that side of ourselves, we were supported.

Thinking of London reminds me that my phone’s been off since dinner last night. I slip out of bed, quietly step across the floorboards to retrieve it from my jacket pocket and switch it on. It vibrates with messages. One from Jaz, desperate for details. Another from Felix saying the last few pieces were delivered this morning. And a third from Chandice, also fishing for details and telling me she has a date tonight. That’s too good not to reply to. I tap out a message.

A date? Who’s that then?

Oh hello, stopped shagging have you? Guy from uni. Going to do my own research for my steamy romance.

Is he also 28 going on 15 and living with his parents? ??

You’re in a good mood for someone who’s in the shit with two birds.

I’m sorting it. Tell me how the date goes!

Nothing from Eva, and there’s no telling if it’s because she had a big night or she’s giving me the silent treatment. I stare at the screen, uncertain whether I should call her today, then glance at Holly. Is it so bad to want one day with Holly where we’re the only two people in our worlds? I’m not sleeping with Eva and never will again – I am one thousand per cent certain of that. We’re over. I’m just delaying the ending-it bit for a very short time. Twenty-four hours, max.

Holly stirs and rolls onto her side, stretching her arm across the empty space beside her. Her eyes shoot open. ‘Casey?’

I shove my phone back in my jacket pocket and rush back to the bed, slipping under the duvet. ‘Hey, I’m here.’

The flash of panic vanishes from her face and she cuddles into me. ‘Mmm, you are real. I wasn’t sure if it was a dream.’

I push her hair from her face and kiss her. ‘I’m real.’

‘And you’re still here,’ she says.

‘Still here.’ I kiss her again, her soft lips making me sigh. ‘I’ve been watching you sleep, waiting for you to wake up so I could do that.’

She grins. ‘That’s very cute.’

My cheeks warm. ‘Oh, good. Not creepy?’

‘If it is, then I’m also creepy because I was awake for ages last night watching you sleep.’ She traces her fingertip over our tattoo. ‘I was worried you’d disappear again.’

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