Page 85 of Camera Shy

“Get naked?”

“Exactly. Is this too much sex? It was just supposed to be a favor.” Leaning forward, I collect the energy drink from the coffee table and pop the lid. These are even more delicious when Finn brings them to me. It’s a telltale sign he’s thinking of me, even when we’re apart.

“It won’t last forever,” he says. My chest immediately tightens as the pang of rejection shocks me.

As a knee-jerk response, I nod enthusiastically, pretending like I’m not caught off guard. “I know. I wasn’t thinking this was serious or anything.”

“No, I mean, it’s fun right now because it’s new. It’s exciting. It always starts this way when you’re with someone new. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying it while it lasts. So yeah—it’s a lot of sex. Great. Let’s have a lot of sex while we can.”

Funny. Mason and I never had a honeymoon period. Did it fade? Absolutely. But I can’t remember it starting off passionate like this. Everything from my past relationship was so careful and calculated and…boring.

“Did you and Nora have a lot of sex?”

“Yes,” Finn responds without hesitation. “Pretty much daily when we were together.”

“Oh.”

“But it wasn’t like this.”

The light flutter in my chest comes alive. My mouth begins to water in anticipation like he’s about to say something really important. All I have to do is ask. “Like what?”

“Nora used sex for control, I think. If I was having sex with her constantly, I couldn’t possibly have the time or energy to be having sex with anyone else. It wasn’t for enjoyment, it was more of a way to prove myself. To prove how much I loved her and wanted her, but even daily wasn’t enough. Nothing I did made her feel less insecure. I was always in trouble. I’d get side glares, silent treatment, hell, sometimes she’d all out scream at me in public. She never trusted that I loved her and only her. No matter what I did, there was always something wrong. I literally was afraid to be around the woman I loved because I knew our next big blowout was just around the corner.”

How strange. Here I never thought people who looked like Finn would have intimacy issues. We were both starving in our prior relationships—just starved of different things.

“That sounds a little like…” I bite down on my lip, debating whether it’s my place to say. But we’re friends. This is something I’d say to any friend. “Emotional abuse.”

Finn closes his eyes and nods. “It took me a really long time to admit that. It didn’t sound manly to admit I was being treated poorly in my relationship.”

I wrap my hand around his fingers and squeeze. “I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re doing better now.”

Returning my warm smile, he brings my fingers to his lips. “If you’re thinking I’m only doing this so you can save my business, you’re wrong. I like being around you. You make it easy to smile.”

Oh geez. That jolt in my chest. The pulsing shocks and vibrating tremors taking over my body from the inside out are most definitely feelings. Real fucking feelings.

“But I’m starting to feel like I’m using you.” That’s a half-truth. More accurately, I’m starting to worry that I’m blurring lines. It started with no feelings. Now we’re at okay, just feelings for the summer. And I’m getting dangerously close to, heart freaking ripped to shreds when I have to leave this man and get back to reality. “I don’t want you to feel like my sex toy.”

Finn rubs the back of his neck, a sheepish smile creeping across his face. “I’m good with it. Consider me your toy.” He opens his legs into a wide V, as unsubtly as possible. “Play with me.”

I try to hold a straight face, but we both burst into laughter.

“Wow, that was bad…just bad.”

“I know,” he says between breathy chuckles. “Sorry. If I’m being honest, I am so fucking horny right now. It’s been three days since I’ve had you and I’m getting a little dizzy, nauseous, hot flashes, and my vision is blurry.” He puckers his bottom lip.

Is he…begging…for me?

“Are you horny or pregnant?”

He howls in laughter as he pats his lap. “Get over here. You’re my cure, Avery. How about we play first, and then business after?”

“Three days isn’t that long. Also, you have a hand for that.”

He shakes his head. “Nuh-uh. You know how once you’ve tasted real New York-style pizza you can’t go back to cheap delivery?”

“Eh, I’m more of a Chicago deep-dish kind of girl.”

For a moment, he’s distracted as he shakes his head in disbelief. “Deep dish? What the fu—okay, we’ll come back to that. The bottom line is you, sweet girl, are gourmet, and now there’s no way my hand is going to cut it.” He carefully wrestles the can I’m holding out of my grip and sets it aside. Before I can protest, he wraps his hand behind my neck and pulls me to his lips. I briefly allow myself to get swept up, and I kiss him back furiously, enjoying the feel of his tongue on mine. I melt into the powerful way he holds me, so steady, so sure. I start picturing a life with Finn where I’m this happy all the time and it scares me because the minute you like someone…love someone…they have the power to completely destroy you.

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