Page 127 of Camera Shy

“If you could bear through it, I could send you straight into another orgasm. Even more intense.”

“I think one at a time is plenty,” I huff, still catching my breath. The tingles in my toes still linger. I’m so satiated I just want to fall asleep with Finn holding me from behind.

“For now. You’ll see. There’s a lot for us to explore together. That’s what keeps your sex life alive, Avery. It’s not different positions, dirty talk, or getting choked and your ass swatted. It’s trusting each other enough to be honest and ask for what you want and need—”

“And the other person being willing to try,” I add.

“That’s where I think both of our prior relationships fell flat. Nora didn’t trust”—he points to his chest—“and Mason didn’t try.” He points to me. “That’s why we’re good together. I don’t want to pressure you, Avery, but if you were here, I know I could make you happy.”

I look out the window and see that we’re parked right in front of Ruby’s. I remember the giant red neon sign from all those years ago when I rescued Palmer. My best friend…

“Finn, you know L.A. is only about four hours away.”

He nods shortly. “I’m aware.”

I keep my eyes on the window so he doesn’t see my guilty expression. “That’s almost the same distance to Scottsdale, right? You visit your mom once a month and the drive isn’t too bad.” I finally force myself to look at him, and the way his lips are pressed together and his eyes are narrowed, he knows what I’m saying.

“Do you think seeing each other once a month would be enough for us?”

“Finn, I…” I trail off and he waits patiently for me to finish my thought, but I can’t. I don’t want to tell him Palmer is what stands between us because he truly will hate her forever and if Finn is going to be in my life, I need my boyfriend and my best friend to get along. It’s bad enough that there’s a war between Palmer and Mason. But there’s only a war because she loves me and hates the man who broke my heart.

“Can I be honest?” Finn asks.

I nod in reply.

“I think we’re good together and I think you’re standing in your own way. And when you figure out why, let me know. Maybe I can help you through it.”

But I know why.

It’s because even after all summer, it’s still easier to sink back into what I know I am versus what I could be. I’m Mason’s business partner. I’m Palmer’s best friend. I don’t know if I can trust the idea of Finn and this reinvented version of myself. It’s just a fantasy. It’s just a dream. Guys like Finn don’t really fall in love with girls like me. I know he likes that I make him feel safe…

But do I make him feel alive the way he makes me feel alive? There’s no way. And it’s so much easier to think with my head than my heart.

“Finn, listen, I—”

Knock, knock, knock. The abrupt sound against the partition conveniently interrupts me.

“Sir, we’re being told to move. I can’t park here much longer. Should I circle the block again?”

“No, we’re all set,” Finn calls back and we hear the driver’s door open then slam shut. No doubt he’s making his way over to let us out. Finn keeps his eyes on me. “Finish your sentence, sweetheart. What is it?”

What is it?...

I’m scared.

I grab my clutch and fish through it before I pull out a pack of gum. “Nothing. But here, you should take a piece.” I hand over a single stick. “I promise I’ll return the favor later.”

He chuckles as he pops the gum into his mouth. He winks at me playfully, clearly trying to mask his disappointment in our conversation.

“Damn straight you will.”

34

Avery

I thought my costume was a little risqué, but in comparison to the women here, I look dressed for the presidential inauguration. There was one woman who was basically just wearing a tiny G-string and stickers over her nipples. I would’ve asked what her costume was, but she was a little busy with the security guard’s tongue shoved halfway down her throat.

Suspicions confirmed—Cass’s birthday party at this gentleman’s club is a giant orgy waiting to happen. The decorations are superior. Everything is dark with colorful strobe lighting. There’s confetti and glitter with giant balloons the size of my body. This party must’ve cost tens of thousands to decorate alone. I’m in shock—at the luxury…and the nakedness. But Finn looks unbothered like this is all business as usual.

---