Page 36 of Seeking Salvation

“Start from the beginning.”

Titan nodded as he glanced at his own brew, before taking a sip and then placing it on the dented coffee table. “I lived in a really rough part of South London on a council estate. We had fuckall, but I was happy as a kid. I had my older brother Devon, and his best friend Mitch was like a brother to me, too.”

God, this was harder than he thought it would be, baring his soul. “When I was around ten, my brother got involved with a gang called the Onyx Cobras. At first, I was happy my brother was bringing home new trainers and we had more money but, as I got a little older, I began to realise that Devon was getting in so deep he was losing himself. Mitch stopped coming around and, eventually, his mother got him away, but that left Devon to fend for himself.”

Maya reached for his hand and he let her take it, focusing on her soft skin as he continued to bleed there on her couch. “I tried to help but Devon kept saying it was for the best. I knew he didn’t mean it because he wouldn’t let me anywhere near the gang or its members. One day, Devon got into it with a rival gang and he was killed.” Titan felt his voice crack and coughed to clear it. “I was so angry with the world, with my mother who never seemed to do enough to stop him, and with Devon, but mostly I blamed the gang and I blamed Mitch, too. He should have been there, he should have helped me save my brother.”

“What happened?”

Her voice was a whisper and he felt shame crawl over his skin knowing what he had to admit to her. “I joined the gang. I worked my way up, becoming more vicious and colder with every second that passed. I was determined to take the gang down and the only way I could do it was from the inside. I was…fuck, Maya, the things I did. I hurt people. I sold drugs and guns. I killed in the name of vengeance.”

“How did you end up here? With this team?”

God, this was the worst of it and he almost puked at the thought of admitting what he’d done to Maggie and Autumn. “I almost had enough to end the Cobras, to cut every member down and then I found out that one of the women who’d been married to someone associated with the gang was involved with Mitch. I saw a way to make him pay for leaving us at the same time.”

Maya sucked in a breath as if she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he was going to say and her hand left his to cover her mouth.

“I kidnapped Mitch’s woman and her baby daughter. I thought to use them as leverage. She was incredibly smart and could help with the last part of my plan.”

“No, Titan, please tell me you didn’t hurt them.”

Titan huffed out a humourless laugh. “Not physically, but I did shoot the copper protecting them with a blank. I locked Autumn away and kept Maggie, the baby, with me.” Titan swiped his hands over his mouth. “Fuck.”

Jumping to his feet, he began to pace. “I held her, Maya. I held that little girl in my arms and I swear something broke open in me. She touched my face with her chubby hands and it was like light flooding the darkness. She was so innocent, so sweet and trusting, and I was the monster in the dark. I wasn’t a man avenging his brother. I’d become the thing that killed him.”

Maya rose too and moved to him. “What happened?”

“I handed her over to her mother. I knew Mitch would come. He was an ex-cop and I knew he’d come for them. I just needed to keep them safe until he did, but we were attacked. My plan unravelled and the other players came for us. I was shot trying to protect them, but Mitch got there in time to save Autumn and Maggie. I thought I was dead. Fuck, I wanted it. I didn’t deserve to live after all I’d done.”

“But you did.”

“Mitch held his hands over my wound and talked to me, told me to live. I woke up in the ICU with the leader of Mitch’s team leaning over me. He offered me a deal. I could go to jail for the rest of my life or I could die that night, for all intents and purposes, and join his secret organisation known as Shadow and spend every day righting my wrongs.”

“So that’s what you all do? You’re all atoning for something in some way?”

Titan nodded. “I guess. We’re all broken in some way and we spend our days making up for it by helping to make the world better.”

“So everyone thinks you’re dead?”

Titan nodded. “Nico knows me from my gang days. He was low level but I made it my business to know every single member. I guess he came here when the gang were arrested or disbanded.”

He waited as the silence filled the air, hot and oppressive. “Do you hate me?”

Maya blinked and then tugged on his hand, drawing him towards the sofa. “Sit.”

He did without question, the confessions of his past taking the fight out of him. He waited for her to tell him that she didn’t think Tyrique should be around him and he wasn’t sure he could argue, even though the thought broke his heart.

He let out an ‘oof’ as Maya sat in his lap, her soft curves nestling into his as her arms drew around him and she hugged him. Slowly, cautiously, he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her to him, a breath leaking from his lungs with a shudder.

“I don’t hate you. I hate that you went through that. I hate that you were so lost, so driven by grief, that you became someone you didn’t know. But, when it counted, when you were faced with that choice where redemption would be impossible, you made the right one. You aren’t evil, Ti. You were broken, and I didn’t know you then but I know what I see in front of me, and that’s a good man.”

Titan went to argue and she placed a finger over his lips. “No, don’t argue. I know I don’t know you well, but I see the way your friends look at you, how they love you and someone who isn’t worth redemption and love doesn’t foster that kind of emotion.”

“You’re something else, Maya.”

“Something good?” Her lips tipped into a sexy smile and he felt the air thicken, her curves moulded against his so tight he could feel the heat from her body.

“Something too perfect for me.”

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