Page 23 of Seeking Salvation

“Jesus, kid, you almost blew a hole in my leg but that’s gotta feel better.”

Maya watched Tyrique’s body relax but knew this episode wasn’t over, not yet. “You’re doing great.”

“So, is he good now?”

Maya smiled and shook her head. “Afraid not. It usually lasts a couple of hours and then he goes down after a bottle.”

“How often does it happen?” His voice was low as if he was scared he’d set his son crying again if he spoke louder.

“Every night for the last month, but I’m told it should ease up by the time he hits six months.”

“Every night!” Panic laced through the word, and she tried not to laugh.

“Yeah, poor baby.”

“Can’t a doctor medicate him so he isn’t in pain?”

“You can get a few over-the-counter things but I don’t find they work. Baby massage is the best way, at least in my limited experience.”

“And you’ve been dealing with this every night?”

“Yeah.”

“When do you eat or sleep or shower? How the hell have you been doing this alone?”

“Well, I eat a lot of toast. I wear makeup to cover the bags under my eyes, and showers are quick and when this guy is napping.”

Maya could feel Titan watching her but kept her gaze firmly on Tyrique, not wanting to make a fool of herself because she knew that if she looked at him now, she’d see something she’d craved all her life, admiration.

“Wow, I’m in awe of you. I never really thought about how hard it was being a single mum. I mean, I did. My mum raised me and my brother alone, but I didn’t quite appreciate it, if that makes sense.”

“It does and, to be honest, I didn’t either until I was doing it.”

Ti looked down at his son and her eyes shifted to the man beside her, admiring his profile. He looked upset and regretful, and she didn’t want him to feel bad. Rose had made this decision, not him.

“I hate that I wasn’t there to help her out. Maybe if I had been, she’d be alive.”

“Don’t do that, Ti. Don’t take responsibility for things my sister did. I loved her, God knows I did but she made her choices. I wish every day I could have saved her, but you can only save someone who wants to be saved, and I’m not sure my sister ever did.”

“But you don’t think she killed herself?”

Maya shook her head. “No. They killed her, I’m sure of it but I can’t escape the feeling that Rose was always destined to be on this earth for a short time. I lived my life with a constant low-level anxiety that I’d lose her, even when she was happy and healthy.”

“I get that. My brother Devon died when I was a kid. I always blamed others for what happened to him and almost destroyed the people I thought responsible but ultimately, he made his own decisions.”

Her heart twisted, knowing that he felt the same pain she did at losing a sibling. Her hand rested on his corded forearm and the patterns inked into his skin, feeling the strength there. “I’m sorry you went through that, Ti.”

“Yeah, me too. But everything happens for a reason, right?”

“Maybe.”

Fear at the shit still swirling around her future must have shown on her face, because Ti turned his hand over and gripped her fingers, linking them with his.

“I’ll protect you, Maya. I promise.”

“I don’t need your protection, Ti, only he does.” She motioned to Tyrique who was sleeping soundly as his dad continued to rub his tummy.

“I know you don’t but you have it anyway.”

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