Page 9 of Lost In London

Finding a hairdresser to fix the shitty job I did was a nightmare. Thank goodness it was easier to find a braider that could grip my short strands than someone whose only solution was to cut my hair more. Up until last month, I’ve been wearing braids and loved them. So low maintenance and easy to style. It wasn’t until I saw Krishna with her new blonde highlights that I decided to search for a beautician that could work with whatever damage I had.

Luckily my hair had grown healthy and to a nice bob length thanks to a year of braids. I got a fresh perm and colored my hair last week to a honey blonde. I absolutely loved it. Felt different and more freeing. Felt like a new me.

Running my hand through Melly’s knotless braids, I didn’t even fake it. “Ask me that in an hour.”

The relationship formed between him and me is one that I cherish above everything. He’s become my vault of secrets and feelings. My place of refuge and normalcy. Not only him but his kids too. They looked at me and didn’t see my flaws. They loved me even at my worst, never asking me for anything other than my time and love in return.

“Fair enough. Y’all come on and eat breakfast.”

Turning around, Melly looked down at her clothes and smiled. Their plaid skirts, white tucked in blouse, navy blue blazer, knee-high navy blue socks, and blue leather T-bar flats. They were the cutest things ever. Adding some bright colors and a signature piece that showed their personality, I placed colorful beaded bracelets on their wrist and pink heart studs in their ears.

“Both of you look so pretty. Did you take a picture for your followers?” Who knew these two would have a large social media presence?

I for sure didn’t.

Leave it to me to post them on my Instagram account and my followers started asking for more Tai and Melly content. You never knew what you’d get once they opened their mouth and together, they were double trouble.

“I sure did.” Tai jumped in rubbing her glossed lips together. “I wish we could wear purses with our ugly uniforms. My new BirkinKor would make my look pop.”

Tai laid eyes on Krishna’s new purse and begged Cassian to buy her one. He refused to buy her a Birkin. Hell, I didn’t even have one. Instead, he went to the Michael Kors outlet and bought them a few little purses and backpacks, calling them BirkinKor. Told them they were more special than Krishna’s and one of a kind. Too bad they won’t stay little naïve girls forever. He had a few more years before they started to realize the truth, especially when it came to their red bottom painted shoes.

“Patti and Anita, get down here and eat!” Cassian yelled from downstairs. I still can’t believe he calls them Patti LaBelle and Anita Baker for nicknames.

“Ugh, he’s so grumpy in the morning. Lolo, he needs some of your morning happy juice. Come on, Melly.” Taking her sister’s hand, my little friends left, leaving me alone to get ready.

By the time I finished combing out my hair, getting dressed, and packing my purse, the girls were finishing breakfast and Cashton had a cup of warm lemon water in my favorite thermos. Cassian and Tai were arguing as usual. “Everyone ready to go?”

“I’ll take the kids.” Cassian hovered over me, making my five-foot-two height seem smaller than small as I craned my neck to look up at him.

“It’s okay.” I loved dropping all the Kalmin kids off at school. The conversations these little people could conjure kept my stomach in stitches. “Massey is shadowing me today at City Hall and I have to pick her up from school anyway.”

Along with me adjusting to life differently, so was Cassian. He’s been in intensive counseling with Bishop for the past year and he’s changed so much. Changed when it came to his temperament, though he still knucked when someone bucked. Changed when it came to his feelings and the feelings of others. Might I even add he seemed so much wiser and in tune with himself as a man and those around him.

It's like Bishop gave him the key to what It took to read minds, see past the surface, and into someone’s soul. That’s what it felt like now with him intensely looking into my eyes. “Lo, if you need…”

“Not today, Cass. Please not today.” While I appreciated his concern and willingness to be an ear and voice of reason for whatever I wanted to express, I wasn’t in the right headspace for it.

Cupping my head, he kissed my forehead and hugged me like he did every morning and night. “If you need me, please call me.”

Reassuring him by tightening my arms around him, I nodded. “I promise, I will.” He knew I wasn’t lying.

There were days when I felt so damn sad and I’d just start crying. I’d call him and he’d let me cry while he told me about his adventurous day at Rims and Heaux’s. If I was home and it happened, he’d put on my favorite movie, Aladdin, and order some wings, Chinese rice, and a strawberry cheesecake. We’d eat until fullness put us to sleep, or he’d play our thug anthems as he called them and we’d pretend we were rappers and singers.

“I call front seat!” Ari yelled, running down the street from her house to the awaiting truck.

“You can have the front seat. I’ll sit on my princess throne.” Tai sassed climbing into the truck and sitting in her booster seat with a custom crown attached above her head. Yes, Cassian went above and beyond to make sure his girls felt like royalty.

All the Kalmin kids minus AJ jumped in. Ari, Nova, Tai, Melly, and Cashton. AJ had dual enrollment classes at the local community college, so he drove himself and Massey was meeting us at the school, driving from her mom’s house. This morning I played Maverick City. Usually, we jammed to whatever 99Jamz played on the radio but this morning I needed a huge pick-me-up. The kids never complained. They sang loudly to each song right along with me.

When we made it to their school and I pulled up to the drop-off area, all the kids jumped out. I got my hugs from each one except Cashton. He lingered behind and stood by the rear of the truck watching me. The kid made my heart race. Looking at Cash you’d think from the hardness of his eyes, the intensity of his probing that he’s been through some things. That he’s seen a lot of wars and fought a lot of battles. Though I never wanted to play favorites, I have to say he was mine.

Making my way over to him, I smiled, clasping my hands together. “Give me a word today, young king.”

As hard as his exterior was, Cash was shy and always looked off or had to fold his lips to keep from giving in to his smiling. Dressed similarly to his female cousins except he wore starched navy slacks, a tie, and Nikes. The sides of his head were shaved and the top of his head in newly twisted locs, he was such a handsome young guy just like his father with a personality like his uncle.

“I bottled her tears in a jar that I kept under my bed.

Taking it out at night praying that heaven’s angels listened to every prayer she said.

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