Page 17 of Lost In London

I found power in putting on my fanciest clothes, placing my fresh pedicure feet in my favorite designer heels, taking the time to paint my lips in a red ombre like I learned off YouTube, and spritzing on some good ass perfume that even I said ‘damn, I smell good’ each time I inhaled. There were so many pleasures of being a woman, being a girly girl, and I loved them all.

Loved them so much because they hid a lot of my flaws.

“London Nicole, getcho ass down here.”

One of the things I loved about living in New York and rubbing elbows with fashion designers and socialites was getting the inside scoop on how to mask my issues from the world with the clothes and colors I wore. I wore a lot of bright colors. Some neutrals when I wasn’t so concerned since the color was more based on moods than anything.

For instance, tonight I felt like shit. I wanted to curl up in my bed and close my eyes, succumbing to sleep or better yet… death.

“London, if I have to come up these stairs, I promise I’m dragging you out the room by your lil twiggly strings you call hair.” Cassian was foul on so many levels. Why did my hair have to be lil twiggly strings?

Stepping out of the bathroom, I stepped in front of my audience of judges. “So, how do I look?”

Forever living to be dramatic, Tai fainted, falling back on the bed. “LoLo, you didn’t have to hurt me like this.” Okay, that made me feel good.

Giggling at her sister’s craziness, Melly hopped off the bed handing me my red clutch. “You look beautiful, LoLo.”

“Wow.” We turned to Cashton standing in the doorway.

His reaction out of them all made me blush. “Hey, handsome.”

Holding his arm out for me to hold, he asked, “Can I escort you downstairs?” He was such a young gentleman.

“Yes sir, you may.” Wrapping my arm around his arm, I looked myself over quickly making sure I didn’t forget anything. Lead out of the room by Cash, Tai and Melly followed in their princess costumes and heels.

Tonight, thanks to Massey, I was wearing all red and the theme was sexy. She asked to style me for my date tonight and I effortlessly agreed. She ordered a red Joyfunear knotted backless fringe halter romper from SHEIN and red fringe heels from YSL. When I gave her my credit card I expected a nice size dent in my account. The most expensive thing was my heels and clutch. I’ve heard of SHEIN but hadn’t shopped at the online bouquet store.

In her words ‘just cause we have the money doesn’t mean we have to go broke to look good.’

Amen to that!

Hearing the series of heels coming down the stairs, Cassian lifted his head from leaning against the rail and the smile on his face made my cheeks warm. “Bout damn time.” Pushing off the wall, he circled me biting his lip.

I swear I almost broke into a sweat feeling the flutters of butterflies in my stomach thinking they were the bubble guts. “Tha Don is in the motherfuck’n building.” I loved his nickname for me.

Releasing my arm, Cash handed me a bouquet of rainbow plumerias, my favorite flowers. “Have a good time tonight.” He kissed my cheek earning a wide smile in return. That young man was going to be a problem when he got older. The girls were already googly-eyed over him.

“Papa, don’t forget to be a gentlehen and open Lolo’s door.” Cash and I snickered. Tai couldn’t say gentleman to save her life or maybe she did it to mess with her daddy. He hated being called the gentlehen.

“How about you don’t forget to use the bathroom before you go to bed so you don’t pee in the bed? Next time you do it, I’m going to start putting a pamper on you.” Sometimes I think Cassian forgot he was raising little girls, overly sensitive little girls.

Grasping her baby doll, her eyes watered and her bottom lip trembled. “Why you always gotta tell my secrets? And it wasn’t my fault. You gave me milk before bed. I’m going to my room. I can’t handle this right now.” She needed her own show. She’d bring in ratings every night it aired.

“Let’s go. I don’t have time to deal with all that drama.” Taking my hand in his, Cass dragged me out the house with Melly and Cash waving bye.

“Sorry, I’m late. Papa, don’t even start.” Massey hopped out of her car with two boxes of pizza. She was growing into such a beautiful girl. “Oh shoot. LoLo, honey, girl, ma’am.” She started dancing and hyping me up.

These moments… I cherished it dearly.

Having others, people that I unconditionally loved, celebrating me silenced the voices and soothed the pain, even if it only lasted for a few seconds.

Handing Cash the boxes of food, she ran over to us demanding that we pose for pictures. “Come on, Papa. Y’all look too good to not take a picture.”

Hooking his arm around my waist, he tugged me into his chest grilling Massey. “Why you gotta be extra, Massey?”

“Me being extra is telling you to grab Lolo’s booty and kiss her cheek. Now stop moving and stay still.” Several rounds of photos later, Cassian and I were finally hoping on the turnpike heading out to dinner.

My life has changed.

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