Page 34 of Of War and Realms

I take in her clothes, not having noticed their horrid state before. She wears a brown dress that could barely pass as a used rag, and ankle boots with the leather stripping from the sides. A breeze sweeps through the alley, throwing her scent at me. When was the last time she showered?

“Would you like to know why, Cheri?” Mother says nothing, not daring to move a muscle—probably the most intelligent thing she’s ever done. “Because now I get to kill you. Do you have anything to say for yourself? Or to him?” Nell jerks her head in my direction, her eyes not leaving the female standing helplessly in front of her.

Mother drops her gaze, shame crossing her features. I want to laugh. She’s never felt sorry for one fucking thing in her life. “Still the gods-damned manipulative bitch I remember you to be.” Did I just say that out loud? She sneers at me, her true colors showing so quickly.

“You were always good for nothing. Never docile enough to make decent coin—” she sputters, blood flying from her lips as Nell drops any control she was holding inside. Her fist strikes mother's face over and over, nearly leaving her unrecognizable by the time I find my voice again.

“Stop.”

My goddess halts, crimson liquid dripping from her knuckles and soaking through mother’s hair. Her eyes move eerily fast, meeting mine with a deranged, curious look. “Stop?” She mouths the question, very little sound leaving her throat, but I hear her all the same.

Nodding, I take a step in her direction and hold out a hand. She hesitates, looking between mother and me like she’s trying to decide if my reaction to her not listening would be worth continuing. “Death would be too good for her.” Her jaw tightens, breathing slowing from her attack. Eventually she relents, dropping mother from the wall and taking my hand. I rub my thumb over her wet skin in silent thanks before turning my attention to the female that’s about to bolt.

“If I ever see you again, I’ll let my wife do whatever she wants to you.”

Chapter Seventeen

Anellah

Casmir exchanges a worried glance with me as we walk back to the castle. I had been so focused on Emrys’s mother that I completely forgot Cas was left standing in front of a large crowd, probably struggling with his speech after Em and I just ran off. Part of me wants to feel bad for just leaving like that, but I don’t.

Em’s fucking mother was there. His mother. I couldn’t explain the red haze that covered my vision when I realized who she was. Something primal and possessive took over all rationale and the only thing on my mind was giving her a torturously slow, excruciating death. I had to reach deep into the unexplored parts of my soul to find the will that allowed me to step away when he told me to.

If he was not there, I wouldn’t have hesitated to rip her from this realm. It would have been the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done. But Emrys was right…death would be too kind. The fates do not deal in subjectivity, so there would be no prolonged punishment. No painful afterlife to force upon her for what she did to her son.

I chuckle to myself. He was never her son.

As much as I wish to never be subjected to the sight of her again, I hope I am. Emrys’s promise to let me have my way with her settles in my chest, fluttering around in contentedly.

And the way he said my wife?

Fuck, I nearly climbed him right there. Sure, we aren’t married—yet—but the giddy thrill those two words sent through me was so intoxicating I’m still feeling the effects an hour later.

I shake my head, scrunching my nose. I need to stop thinking this way when Emrys is clearly not okay. He has not said a single word since we left the alley, though Cas and I have attempted to talk to him many times. When we step into the castle, the dark walls immediately calming me, I tug at the prince’s presence in my mind, speaking only to him.

Could you give us some time, my love? I want to take him somewhere I think may help. He hesitates, wanting to be there for his best friend, but understands that Em needs something else right now.

Of course, princess. Thank you for taking care of him.

“I need to find Leia, so I’ll catch up with you two in a while,” Cas says kindly, stepping in front of us. He bends to kiss my forehead, then does the same to Em, though his lips hover for a moment longer.

When he walks away and there is no one else around, I pull my other bond forward, my heart squeezing tightly at the vacancy in his gaze. “Emrys, would you like to come to the pool with me?” No answer. He doesn’t even appear to have registered I said anything; his brows scrunch while his eyes flutter, and I’m worried he’s stuck in memories he’s tried for years to suppress.

I wrap my arm through his and lead him toward the mountain, nodding politely to Romial and Saida when we pass them conversing on their way to the library, I assume. No one else knows of the cave, so I really hope that is not where they are headed.

Sweet petrichor and humidity caress my senses as we enter one of my favorite places. I would be content to just live here and forgo the outside world. The panic under my skin increases at Emrys’s unchanged state, so I quickly drag him to the steps and into the water, not bothering to remove his clothes. He hisses when his feet enter, and I roll my eyes at how even in his state, he can still be insufferable.

I breathe out deeply when his tense muscles relax as I warm the water. Once I’ve pulled him to the deepest part of the pool, I wrap myself around him, resting my cheek on his shoulder. Heat creeps through my face when his arms automatically surround me.

“Trust me,” I whisper, calling to my magic to pull us down through the darkness. He grunts, seeming to realize what’s happening, and resists until I surround our heads with an air pocket. Once he fully comprehends what I’m doing, his hold on me tightens and he buries his face in the crease of my neck.

The vulnerability he’s allowing me to see is like a scorched weight sitting in my heart. I feel utterly complete.

Once we reach the bottom, I detangle my limbs and rest in the safety of his arm while I wait. My fingers lightly trace the lines of his chest, leaving indents in his weightless shirt. I know I shouldn’t be happy right now; I should feel angry and vengeful. And I do…but sharing this piece of me with him is special. It solidifies questions and worries that continuously threaten to break through the weak structures of my mind.

This is exactly where I belong. Where I am meant to be.

We lie like this for a long time. I’m certain the sun has set, if the slightly darkening water that surrounds us is any indication. Neither of us has spoken, instead just sharing breath and enjoying the silence. The intimacy soothes an ache for connection I didn’t know I had.

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