Page 35 of Of War and Realms

“I’m sorry, love.” The hushed words are louder than expected, jerking my eyes open from their sleepy haze.

“No more apologizing.” I pause, not sure if I should ask what I need to know. “Are you okay?”

He’s quiet for several minutes, and I can almost hear his thoughts rifling through that gorgeous head of his. But when he finally answers, I don’t think shocked is even close to the right term to describe how I feel.

“Yes.” I just feel the corner of his mouth tug into a heart-throbbing smirk. My only savior in not tackling him is the lack of light down here; I cannot see even the outline of him. He must also feel my glare because he chuckles, his fingers running the length of my spine. “Really, I’m completely fine.”

“Em,” I whisper carefully. “We’ve been down here for a long time. You haven’t spoken in hours.”

“I know. I’m just confused, I think.”

I lean forward to blindly press a kiss on his cheek, my nose painfully bumping his jaw. “About what?”

“Honestly? I’m confused about why I am so okay.” I open my mouth to ask what that means, but he continues. “I expected myself to feel sad or hateful. But I don’t, Nell. I just feel…closure. So many fucking years I’ve spent hating myself for what she did to me. Years of nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat from memories I didn’t know I repressed. It took me so long to get to a place where I was even comfortable hugging Teryn or Cas.

“But when I saw her today? Saw how she looked and how her life was clearly going? I just felt pity. She will never know what it’s like to truly be loved and cared for. She will never be happy with her choices or content enough in her life to feel relaxed. I think seeing her uncovered the part of my past that has been haunting me for decades, and now? I feel nothing. It’s like her and all of those memories were another life, and I no longer have the urge to hold on to them.

“I’m free, Nell. As horrible as she is, she gave me the best gift today.”

I try so hard to stop myself from sniffling around the tears, not wanting to make any of this about me. My voice wavers when I speak, making me sob harder through the thought I need to release. “I love you so fucking much. You are the strongest soul I’ve ever met, and I am so fortunate to have you as one of my soul bonds. You are beyond amazing, Emrys. I’m so proud of you.”

A drop of liquid that’s not my own falls to my nose. I jolt and immediately panic, thinking that I somehow lost the hold on my magic and I’m going to drown the incredible male next to me. But when no more water shoots into the bubble, I realize it was Emrys.

One of his hands pushes through our pocket of air, gripping the back of my neck before pulling me to him. His lips press against mine so tenderly I nearly melt. I shiver as chilly water coats my dry skin, adjusting my body to get a better angle of Em’s face. A breathy moan slips into his mouth as he forces mine open, his tongue leading mine in a sensual dance. The grip on my neck tightens, my abdomen clenching from how wanted he makes me feel.

We kiss unhurriedly, with no intentions of doing anything other than connecting our souls together.

I release him, completely breathless as I lay my forehead against his. A giggle escapes me when he flutters his lashes, tickling the tops of my cheeks.

There’s only one way this euphoric feeling could be better…

Chapter Eighteen

Anellah

Words race past me at an unfathomable speed as they follow the blurry trails of fae and gods rushing to complete their preparations.

Weapons are loaded into wagons. Water is carried out by the gallon. Stations are confirmed several times with the fae and demis that will be head of specific sections. Even medical supplies make it out of the castle and on the road to the camp.

I sit on the cool stairs right inside the entrance and watch as the frantic energy increases around me. I’ve spent the last several hours assigning jobs to individuals, trying to create some kind of order in this mess. Nausea and overwhelming dread have taken up permanent residence inside my body, and I’m finding it more and more difficult to push through those familiar sensations.

But even with my mind swirling to a new thought every second, there’s one question that keeps appearing in the depths of my soul.

What if any of my bonds are killed? What if Andras takes all three of them?

My vision blurs as I think about the worst possible scenario for the hundredth time today. I know I shouldn’t dwell on the what-ifs, but if I’m being truly honest, they are all I care about. Every other individual joining this fight?

I do not fucking care about them. My bonds need to live, no matter what.

Am I ashamed to admit it? Yes. Will I apologize for it? Absolutely fucking not.

I shudder, the cells in my body warning me that Andras is almost here. We have yet to hear from our scout, but something tells me the scout is on their way because Andras has made it through GodsPass. Which is why, even without proof, I’ve ordered every able, participating body to the camp. The males and I will leave when we receive word since our sorids will get us there quickly.

I groan, standing from my seated position and ascend the stairs. The males are in a council meeting, as they have been all day, because the council believes it foolish for Casmir to join the fight against Andras.

For once, I agree with them.

I have the strongest urge to trap him, Em, and Xamira until the war is over. But I know that’s not possible, and if the prince insists on coming…well, who am I to tell him no? The council seems to think otherwise.

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