Page 1 of Of War and Realms

Chapter One

Anellah

“You’re taking him so well, princess,” Casmir’s gravelly voice slides over my ears as Emrys pounds into me from behind.

The prince uses his magic to hold my shoulders and head into the mattress. I sob a moan, my legs shaking from the two orgasms they’ve already given me. Em knows exactly what he’s doing from this position…and I’m about to force them off me because I do not think my body can handle much more pleasure.

“Cas,” I plead with my prince, knowing his captain won’t listen. “It’s too much. I can’t do it agai—” My words end on a scream as another orgasm shoots through my core. I scrunch my eyes and grip the sheets, not able to do anything else with the way I’m being held down.

I’ve recently realized that I enjoy being forced where they want me and taking whatever they wish to give. They could hold me completely against my will, fuck me until I’m numb, and I would get on my knees and thank them for it. What does that say about me?

The girl who gets off on being fucked in the same way her kidnapper raped her.

There’s probably a name for that, but I don’t really care. I was in such an awful place that I nearly ended my life, forcing the males to live with my absence and taking Xamira with me. That was selfish. Wrong.

This? Being held down and taken in any manner they want me? It’s the better choice.

“Repeat that for me, love.” Emrys pulls out, rolling me over to face him when Casmir lifts my invisible chains. He crawls over me, his face hovering above mine. Sweat creates an iridescent sheen on his skin, and his curls hang slightly at the angle of his head. I bite my lip to hide the new wave of arousal coating my thighs. “Tell me again how you can’t.” He’s watching me with an intensity only he could manage, causing my cheeks to heat.

I give him my sweetest smile, tilting my head slightly. “I. Can’t.” His gaze hardens, and I writhe under him, tingles working their way through my flushed skin. He looks to Casmir, my bonds sharing a silent conversation before he smirks and sits back on his knees.

Okay, I lied. I need more. They are staring at me with such hunger in their eyes that it makes me clench my thighs together. Before they can execute their sinful plan, I roll, swinging my leg over my prince and straddling him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He is so beautiful.

I lose myself to the art that is Casmir Vaintera. Prince of Anloria, and my soul bond. The markings on his body accent his muscles so nicely. The black, swirling pattern under his left arm curves inward at just the right angle, highlighting the lines of his waist. The marking circling his right arm angles under the muscles, shadowing them and making them appear larger than they are.

Not that he needs it.

I trace my fingers over his abdomen, following the line that leads up through his sternum and ends below his collarbones. I continue my perusal, tracing his jaw and brushing my sensitive skin over his delicious lips. I take my time admiring his hair, running my fingers through the dampening strands.

When I meet his eyes, my breath hitches. He’s looking at me like I’m the most precious treasure in the realm. Like he sees nothing but perfection, and I could never do any wrong.

He’s looking at me like he sees me. Like he knows how fucked up my head is and doesn’t see it as a fault. He understands my mess and dances in it. He covers his soul in my dark, sticky trauma and praises me for letting him in. Like he wants nothing more than to worship every dirty part of me. Like he would gladly let my past consume him as he lies in the horrid memories and allows me to use his body as a stepping stone so I never have to touch them again.

Marry me, Anellah.

The unanswered proposal flickers through his eyes every day. He and Emrys want to tie me to them in every way possible…but I’m so fucking conflicted. I want to say yes so badly that I have to physically restrain myself from answering. But at the same time, declining them is a muddied cloud always in the back of my head. I can’t seem to rid myself of its torment.

Maybe it sounds ridiculous, but there’s a large part of me that is loyal to my purpose. The reason I was born. I’ve spent the last seventy-five fucking years training to be sanctioned as the Goddess of Nature…is it so wrong of me to not give that up easily? Even as I think that, my stomach turns. If Andras was out of the picture, I would never have met Cas and Em. I wouldn’t know what it was like to truly be loved. Cherished. Wanted.

Sure, Calix loves me, but he’s the only one I could ever stand to be around. Our friendship was just a matter of proximity and circumstance. My father loves me…well, at least as a father should. It feels forced sometimes. Like he isn’t capable of such affections, but believes that’s how he’s supposed to act toward his daughter.

But everyone else? My mother, the other gods, my instructors, and peers that I grew with? I’ve always just been a tool to them.

Push Nell harder. Add extra lessons to Nell’s schedule. Give Nell a more rigorous academic setting.

Make sure Nell is the strongest and most powerful god in the realms…because my mother couldn’t handle anything else. Even meeting those expectations wasn’t enough in her eyes. Nothing ever is.

But to have Xamira and these two males? It’s all I’ve ever wanted…the only thing in my life that I craved. It’s why I was so quick to trust Andras when I first arrived on Earth; I was desperate for the attention. He gave me one smile, and I felt like I was floating on clouds. Of course he turned out to be the worst of them all, but that’s not the case with my bonds. They love me for me. They saw me at my ugliest, meanest self and leaving never crossed their minds. To them, I am it. I’m the answer to all the questions and struggles they’ve had over the years. The longing in their souls that they couldn’t explain.

The thing is…they are that for me, too. I’m so in love with them that my soul aches when I even think about saying no. The two missing pieces stick out like a neon sign at the thought of leaving them. What it would be like to feel complete…

Let us make you our queen, Nell.

Let us worship you in every way you deserve.

Gods, I want that so fucking bad. I want to complete our bonding and feel whole for the first time in my life. But I’d be the only god to ever make that choice. What would they think if I did? What would they do?

Jasmine clouds my rampant internal war, and I blink to see Casmir sitting up, his lips pressing against my cheek. I am so selfish for allowing this to continue when I haven’t decided yet. It’s completely wrong of me.

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