Page 31 of Of Gods and Pain

“What do you want? Why are you here instead of doting over your soul bond?” I wince and bite my cheek to keep in my immediate, defensive rebuttal.

After a few breaths, my shoulders relax, and I meet her eyes again. “He has her.” The witch stills, her gaze distanced before focusing once more.

She blinks a few times, her voice much quieter as she says, “I see. And what brings you here?”

“I need to know if you can help her. We’ve worked through every potential option, but none would be successful. Andras is strong with her magic, so sending anyone there would be a death sentence.”

“No.” That was quick.

It was my turn to cross my arms. “No, you can’t; or no, you won’t?”

“I can’t.” I open my mouth to protest, but she holds up a hand, halting my words. “Manipulating objects of the mind is one thing, prince. You witnessed just how much power those spells needed; how much it took from both Anellah and me. Imagine what the Earth would require to move a physical object! And a living body, no less.

“It’s not only impossible, but also fatal. That kind of magic would surely kill us both, even if I could do it. And I don’t believe that is your goal.” I drop my head back, pressing my lips together, and using all of my remaining will to stay calm. I need to leave.

“Okay. Thank you,” I mutter stiffly, turning to leave.

“I’m sorry I cannot help.” She shuffles behind me as I walk to the door out front. “But there is something you should know!” That gets my attention.

“About Nell?”

She shakes her head. “No, about your captain.” My brows furrow, and I let go of the door handle. Craning my head to her, I see she looks nervous. She wasn’t a moment ago when she was insulting me. I raise a brow when she doesn’t speak.

“When I helped Anellah, the spells drifted. They are the Earth’s energy, they cannot be contained in one place.” She clears her throat. “So they grasped on to any living thing in the area, allowing me to see inside like I was doing with the goddess.”

I’m facing her fully now, tightness forming in my chest. “And?”

“It touched the captain. I…was given information that only the body knows.” What the fuck does that mean? “And—” She pauses, swallowing before speaking again. “Well, he had a very difficult life before you. You must treat him kindly.”

I nod, reaching for the door again. “Noted, thank you.”

I’m walking back to the castle, and I can’t stop thinking about what the witch said. As if I don’t know Emrys had a hard life? As if he’s been by my side for decades, and we aren’t privy to everything about each other?

I run a hand through my hair when I walk into the castle. Heaviness settles in my soul, pulling me back to the overwhelming feelings I want to forget. I start up the stairs, intending to shower and sleep, but halt when a voice calls for me.

“Your Highness!” Leia rushes around the smooth, wooden banister. She pauses when she sees me; I must look worse than I feel. “I just wanted to give you these; notes from today’s council meeting.”

I grab the papers, giving my overworked manager a smile. “Thank you, Leia. No working the rest of the day—I think we could all use some rest.” Her brows crease, and she nods hesitantly before walking towards the kitchen.

I feel no better after washing off and changing. The pressure in my chest will certainly kill me if I don’t give it what it wants. I need a way to relieve it, but I’m not sure what will work. I’m too restless to sleep, and I have a feeling releasing my magic will not help. I’m not hungry, so eating isn't the solution.

I’m walking leisurely down the hall with my hands clasped behind my head. Maybe I could go for a run, or to the p—

The piano.

I stride over to the instrument and sit on the bench. Maybe this is what I need. I used to play when I felt stressed, but I haven’t since…her. I look to my right, at the ghost of a memory taking shape next to me. The breathtaking smile she gave me when I finished my song. I close my eyes and feel the heat of her skin brushing against mine. The way the threads of our souls seemed to touch, tangling us together even more. Her floral scent surrounds me, and it feels like home.

But when I open my eyes, she’s not there. My arm is cold, my soul is hollow, and the only thing I can smell is the sheen of dust coating the surfaces in front of me. A gnawing ache radiates through me; I feel sick.

Without thinking, I reach to start playing, but my fingers hover over the keys. I know of no melodies that encompass what I’m trying to say. I consider leaving, but then I see it. Them. The notes show themselves to me, and I press them, weaving new sounds into existence.

The song hurts. It’s irresistible, devastating, gloomy, sharp. My eyes blur and I scrunch them closed, giving the tears permission to fall while my body moves to the emotions speaking through my hands.

It’s the story of Nell; the story of us. Beautifully ruinous.

Chapter Fourteen

Emrys

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