Page 44 of Chaos at Westbrook High

“Do you think about me when you touch yourself here?” he asks, his fingers rubbing my clit.

“No.”

“Liar,” he says. “I think you think about me all the time. Same way I think about you.” His hand wraps around my throat, and I moan, rolling my hips and grinding my pussy into his hand. “I think I’m in your head, baby girl.”

I look over at my open bedroom door and find Derek standing there, watching us?—

I shoot up in bed, clutching the blanket to my chest to cover myself. Holding my breath, I look at my closed bedroom door. No one’s there. I’m alone.

The sound of my alarm going off finally registers, and I shut it off. Releasing my tight grip on the blanket, I drag myself out of bed, unlock my door, and open it slowly. When I find the hallway empty, I head to the bathroom and turn the light on.

Derek must have given up on me at some point in the night and gone back to the couch. He won’t sleep in Valerie’s bed, and I don’t blame him. I can’t even open her bedroom door without falling apart. I still need to clear out her clothes and the rest of her things, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Not yet.

I cringe at my reflection in the mirror before brushing my teeth. I’m still wearing the clothes I had on yesterday. My hair is a mess, my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, and yesterday’s makeup is smeared all over my face.

After washing my face and brushing all the knots out of my hair, I tie it up into a high ponytail and go back to my room to dress in a pair of black leggings and a clean hoodie. Grabbing my phone, I head out to the entryway and put my sneakers on.

Derek’s passed out on the couch, his long body at an awkward angle, his head dangling over the edge. The bottle of vodka on the coffee table is a lot less full than it was last night, and there’s an empty bag of coke tossed down next to it.

Gritting my teeth, I walk over to him to check he’s still breathing. He is.

Usually I’d slide a pillow under his head and cover him with the blanket I bought him when he started sleeping here. This time, I leave his ass where he is.

When I get downstairs, I head outside and check for any hoodies lurking around. I glance at the SUV in the parking lot, searching for the driver, but it’s still dark, and the windows are so tinted that I can’t see if he’s inside.

Just as I put one headphone in and walk away, James pops out from behind one of the cars and scares the ever loving shit out of me.

“Jesus,” I hiss. “What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” he asks, still wearing that expensive black suit and tie of his, wide awake and not a hair out of place.

Something tells me he already knows the answer to that, but I tell him anyway. “Going for a run.” When he glares, I add, “Relax. I run around the park. You don’t have to chase me.”

“I’d rather get you a treadmill so you can run inside,” he calls, but I’m already jogging away, refraining from telling him to go fuck himself.

Valerie ran track in high school, and when I was younger, I wanted to be just like her. She brought me out here every single day and took me to the track as often as she could, training me to be as good as she was. The day I finally beat her when I was fourteen, she screamed and spun me around, my arms tight around her neck. Derek was there that day. His smile was as big as mine was.

When I get to the park across the street, I hit play on the audiobook I’m listening to and start to stretch. James finds a tree to look at while my ass is in the air.

When I’m done, I begin running the perimeter of the park, literally attempting to outrun my problems, just like I do every morning.

It doesn’t work as well today. When I think about Val’s bedroom full of her things, it makes me run so fast that my legs struggle to keep up with me. When I think about my brother, it makes me want to stop and throw up all over my shoes. And when I think about Kai…

I think I’m in your head, baby girl.

“Fuck off,” I rasp, pushing myself even harder.

By the time I get back to where I started, James is leaning against one of the benches with his arms folded over his chest. “Are you done?”

Not even close.

I keep running, sprinting, only stopping after five laps because I really am about to throw up all over my shoes. Doubled over with my hands braced on my knees, I take the water James hands me. “Thanks,” I gasp, struggling to get my breathing under control.

“That was too much.”

“I know.”

When my vision clears, I straighten up and take a few small sips of water.

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