Page 34 of Damaged

I’d managed to hide the savage need to find the man who’d tormented, degraded, and put Silver’s life in danger on a daily basis, but that man’s body was already rotting in the ground. Jace’s team members of whatever mercenary-style group he was a part of had seen to that.

I’d gotten up and retrieved a second plate and silverware so that I could calm my inner turmoil so Silver wouldn’t see it. The last thing I’d wanted was for him to see another example of my inner rage. He’d gotten a glimpse of it when he’d woken me up from the nightmare the previous day.

I’d completely failed on the calming down part so as soon as I’d seen Silver start eating, I’d gotten up to wash my own dishes so the young man sitting at my kitchen table wouldn’t see how badly my hands had been shaking.

It wasn’t until I’d tried to explain where the stuff to clean his own dishes was located that I’d realized there was no need to talk about what had happened the day before because as soon as I’d moved Silver back from the edge of the sink a little to reveal that compartment where the sponge and other cleaning tools were kept, I’d felt his entire body lock up right before a harsh little cry had escaped from his mouth. The sound had been so muffled that I couldn’t be sure I’d heard it, but the final nail in the coffin had been the way Silver had curled his fingers against the edge of the counter on each side of the sink.

He’d been waiting for me to fuck him.

Right there in front of the sink.

Those curled, nearly colorless knuckles on each hand had meant Silver had been trying to brace himself as I pulled his pants down and shoved my dick in his ass.

Even now, I felt sick to my stomach at what it all meant. I’d already known that the young man had endured years of brutality from his captor, but having Silver put me in that same category, especially after what had happened the day before, hurt like a motherfucker. I’d already planned to give Silver the no-strings cash I’d promised him, but after what had happened yesterday morning, I’d spent the rest of the day and that evening trying to figure out how to ask him to stay.

Well, problem solved.

There was no way in hell I could have Silver in my house for one more day.

Not with the knowledge that he saw me as another captor. Someone who would use him in the ugliest ways before throwing him away like he was no more than a piece of garbage. I was lucky enough to have never experienced the first part, but I knew a shit ton about the second.

I reminded myself that Silver had the cash and my only obligation to the kid was giving him the ride I’d promised him. Once he was out of my car, I’d tell Jace where I’d dropped Silver off and then none of it would be my problem anymore.

When the boat swayed sharply to one side, then the other, I let out a silent curse beneath my breath. It seemed to take forever for Silver to appear in my peripheral vision and then finally in my direct line of sight. I was sitting on a wooden lounger that allowed me to lie completely flat or at different reclining angles. A plush, oversized pillow moved with the chair no matter what position it was in. There was also a matching ottoman. I’d had the piece of furniture custom made so it could withstand the elements, but it had been worth every penny because it helped me to sit or lie down in any position that I wanted.

I hadn’t reclined when I’d sat down, so when Silver sat down on the ottoman just in front of me, I had to widen my legs a bit to make room for him. I could see the wad of cash curled up in one of his hands.

It was a gorgeous day out. The almost cloudless sky was accompanied by a gentle wind that was soft enough to make the water look like glass. It was cool out, but I knew that the afternoon would bring the warmth of spring with it.

Silver didn’t seem to notice any of those things. I wondered if it was because he wasn’t fond of nature or because he hadn’t been allowed to be.

“I’m ready to go,” he murmured as he held out his hand to give me the cash. He’d put on his original clothing that morning, but I could tell he’d only put it in the dryer because there were still several stains, probably from cars driving by him in the rain, spraying dirt and grime onto his pants legs.

I’d been one of those drivers.

Shame crawled through me when I realized that if I hadn’t recognized Silver from the funeral, I wouldn’t have stopped. All the things that could have happened to the young man before me if he’d been picked up by the wrong person…

“Tell me one thing,” I began and then realized I needed to take the anger out of my tone because it was making Silver more nervous. I managed to catch his hand, the one holding the money, and closed my fingers around his wrist just as he tried to pull his hand back. I kept my hold on him as he nervously tried to tug his hand away.

Despite my promise to myself to get Silver out of there and let my life go back to normal, there were just some curiosities that couldn’t be contained.

I leaned into Silver’s space enough to have him sucking in a harsh breath. He stopped trying to pull his hand free. I began running my thumb over the soft skin of his wrist in an effort to soothe him.

“Yesterday morning,” I started to say. The words had Silver going wide-eyed.

“That was—that was… a mistake. I’m so sorry for… for…” Silver stopped speaking and dropped his eyes. I used my finger under his chin to tilt his face up so I could see his eyes. He kept his gaze engaged with mine before quietly adding, “Can we just go, please?”

I could see him putting up the walls in his head one by one. Any second now and those gorgeous eyes of his would hold nothing but an empty, hollow stare.

“I’ve never let a guy do that to me,” I said.

I was pleased to see the fiery emotion returning to his eyes. I’d clearly stumped him with my blunt words.

“Coming all over me like that,” I continued. “I wanted you to run your fingers through all those juices on your dick and let me suck them off one by one.” I couldn’t even believe the blunt words that were falling out of my mouth with no filter or regard to the promise I’d made to myself to get him out of my house.

“What—?” Silver squeaked. I could see him shifting nervously at my declaration.

My inner voice was screaming at me to stop talking but the words just kept coming.