Page 31 of Mister Mom

“Excuse me but have you not heard of e-coli before?” I rip a few more wet wipes from the container. “Let’s get this over with. What now?”

“Take both her ankles in one hand and raise them to lift her butt . Then use the diaper wipes to clean her up. If she’s chubby make sure you get in all the folds. Front to back.”

“Front to back?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know your way around a pussy, Vance. Place the wipe in the front and go back. You don’t want to get any poop in her hooha.”

I shudder, but not wanting to prolong this I get to work. After a few swipes I realize I have a problem. “There’s poop on the change pad.”

“That’s okay. See if you can get her mostly cleaned up, then remove it and put it in the laundry and wipe the plastic part of the change pad down.”

A few minutes later, mission accomplished Via lays on the change table in a clean diaper, pulling her foot up to her mouth. I release a relieved breath.

“Thanks, Sis. I owe you one.”

“Yes, you do. I’ll take payment in the form of you telling me what the hell you’ve gotten yourself into.”

I roll my eyes. “Sure thing. But right now I have to go check to make sure a four-year-old little boy isn’t cooking meth or something in his bedroom. It’s too quiet in there.”

She laughs. “Vance, you better call me later. I’m sure you’d rather that then me and Garrett surprising you in LA, right?”

“Hell yes. I’ll call you tonight. Promise.”

I hang up and slide the phone into my back pocket and then pick up Via. “What do you say we go check on your brother then I’ll go buy you a new outfit to replace that one?”

She squeals and smacks the top of my head with her palm.

I’ll take that as a yes.

* * *

Nine am, after a full hour of trying to properly install both car seats in my truck, I’ve dropped Via off at daycare and I’m finally on our way over to Jagger’s office. I swear you need to be a NASA scientist to install those damn things. I hadn’t realized that I needed an engineering degree for this manny job.

“Remember, we’re really quiet when we’re in here,” I remind Payne as we enter the empty elevator.

He pinches his lips together and nods his head.

What is Layla complaining about? So far Payne seems to be able to take instruction well.

“Great, buddy. It won’t be long.” I ruffle his hair, the blond strands such a contrast from his mom’s, yet so similar to what his dad is known for.

The elevator dings and I file out, walking toward Jagger’s office. A small hand slides into mine.

Shit, I should be holding his hand. I tighten my grip and smile down at him.

Okay, I got this.

“Hey, Victoria.”

Her gaze falls to the little guy next to me and then back to me, her eyes full of questions. “Who’s your friend?” She leans forward on her desk and smiles at Payne.

“This is Payne.” I pause. “Payne, this is Victoria.”

“Hello, Payne.” She waves, her toothy smile trying to put him at ease.

The little guy slinks closer to my body, his gaze shifting around everywhere.

“Well, he’s waiting for you.” She rolls back in her chair and watches us walk by her desk and into Jagger’s office.

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