Page 74 of Knight

“Thought we’d give our little Grim Reaper some inspiration,” Georgina says. “My cat died last week and I found the perfect use for Baby’s ashes.”

“What!?” It’s my first reaction but I regret it as I cough up more of the dust that only causes more laughter.

“Fuck.” That’s Christian’s voice. “Alright, get outta here. Shows over!” Allie sits me down on the ledge in front of the tree, dusting me off.

“Not enjoying the show, Perez?” Lea asks.

“You mean your disgusting, immature act of jealousy?” Christian replies. “Not even the slightest. These childish pranks are getting old. What’re you gonna do when you’re in college next year? Bully the hottest girl on campus and fuck your way to an A?” Christian’s voice bellows again. “I said, shows over!”

The crowd disperses, and when the dust finally clears from my eyes, Damien’s standing not too far away. He’s staring and again, not doing a damn thing. But I’m supposed to trust him? Hell, he likely coordinated this whole disaster.

“Let’s get you out here,” Allie says.

“I got some fresh gym clothes in my bag,” Christain says. “You can have it.”

“Jo, I’m so sorry,” Willow’s voice is a small whisper. “I didn’t know they—”

“No, it’s not your fault,” I say, my eyes glaring at Damien and he’s glaring right back. Leaning over the banister, rolling his joint between his fingers. “But I know whose it is.”

Marching up the stairs, I’m all covered in black, my shirt stained from this morbid joke. But I want him to see me like this. I want him to see what he did to me. Again. He turns around to face me. Cool, calm and collected and it makes me want to slap him. Or spit in his face again.

So I do.

I spit right in the other eye this time. His blue one, and to that … he smirks. But I can see the tension in his jaw, see the rigidness in his body when that glob hits his eye. He doesn’t wipe it off. He leaves it hanging there when he asks, “You think I did this?”

“Don’t play innocent,” I sneer, stepping closer to his face.

“Watch it, Rowland,” he warns. “I’m willing to excuse the shower. I love it when you’re dirty. And sloppy. But don’t say something you can’t come back from.”

“What? Like accusing you of condoning the actions your demon spawn rains on me? Don’t you get it? This is your fault! Whether you want to own up to that or not. And you won’t and that’s why—”

“That’s why what?”

Scoffing, I walk away. Unsure of what it is I want to say. The more I stand there and look at him, the more confused I get. After getting up the nerve to walk away, I give one last look over my shoulder. Damien stares right back into my eyes with a look that breaks my heart. But I say it anyway. Even if I don’t know that I mean it. “Leave me alone.”

When I get back down the steps, Christian’s waiting with Allie and Willow. “Don’t worry we got you,” Allie says as they lead me towards the door.

It’s easy for her to say but I’m starting to wonder if I even believe that. While I slept with the enemy, she did too. Still is for all I know. I’m grateful for their help but how can I trust them if I don’t know where their allyship truly is?

Christian has Damien. No matter what he does. And Allie, well, I’m not blind. What I saw with her and Lea is as clear as day. While I know my sister’s got my back. Her crew doesn’t. Then it dawns on me.

Am I in this on my own?

* * *

Lunchtime makes it easy for the twins to take me back to their place to get changed. I can’t count how many uniforms went down at the hands of my ERA schoolmates. I’m just happy to be ash-free, clean, and dry.

“We’re here for you,” Allie says. “Always.”

I’m in her room, in another one of her fresh new uniforms, adjusting my kilt in front of a huge golden-framed mirror. Pulling my skirt down a little more, I’m able to hide the bruises from the hotel. The ones that felt so good to get.

Allie’s room has plants all over. Cacti and succulents. It matches her giant green headboard and earthy tones. Her room is as massive as Christian’s, as tidy as he is too. And while she likes to act like she’s far from it all, she isn’t.

“Always?” I ask, and Allie moves her head back, eyebrow arched.

“Yeah, of course, why?”

“Want some lunch?” Christian comes to the door, Willow beside him. Deciding to drop it, I know we can’t have this conversation now, even if it’s overdue.

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