Page 64 of I Stop Somewhere Waiting For You

“Like shit,” I huff, struggling to meet his gaze.

My and Nicky’s relationship has been strained at best since the incident with Tommy. He made it clear that night he would in no way ever support a relationship between me and Maverick. Lucky for him, he didn’t have to make me choose. Mav took care of that.

The craziest thing is, had Mav not done what he did… I would have picked him. I would have picked our little growing family over everything. Even my brother.

My mind becomes plagued with worry as I think how I’m ever going to break the news to Nicky. I may be upset with him, but I still want him to love his niece or nephew. The thought of him shunning them would shatter the last bit of my heart that remains. I better figure it out soon though, because heading into the second trimester, it’s only a matter of time before I start to show.

Nicky turns his attention back toward the eggs, flipping them over easy just as I like them.

“I’m sorry, Jonsie,” he apologizes, his tone solemn.

“No, you’re not.”

He removes the pan from the heat, switching it to a cooler burner just as the toast pops up. Ignoring all that for a moment, he comes to stand in front of me, his hands resting on the countertop on either side of my knees.

“Am I sorry that Maverick Bishop showed you his true colors? No, I’m not. I’m thankful you saw it now before you got in too deep.”

My eyes well with unshed tears as I turn away, though Nicky continues.

“Am I sorry that the most important person in the world to me is hurting? Fuck yes, J. I would rip out my own heart and hand it to you if I knew that would ease your pain.”

My eyes slip closed just as the tears start to fall. Nicky pulls me into his embrace, holding me tight against his cotton-clad chest. The flood gates open and I begin sobbing uncontrollably. I don’t know how long he lets me cry for. What seems like hours is probably closer to ten minutes, but he doesn’t speak or move the entire time. He just sits there holding me, letting me get it all out.

“I’m so sorry, Nick.”

“Hey.” He pulls me back from him, his hands moving to cradle my face. “What are you sorry for?”

“For sneaking around. For lying to you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to disappoint you.”

“J,” he chuckles, wiping the tears from my eyes, “you could never disappoint me. If anything, I’m sorry for all those fucked-up things I said in the moment when I found out. I know you felt something for him. I know it was real for you.”

I nod. “It was. I loved him, Nicky. I still do. And it hurts so bad. Tell me it’s gonna stop hurting, please. Promise me it’s gonna get better.”

“It’s gonna get better.” He holds my gaze. “It’s gonna hurt really bad for longer than you like. But then one day, you’re going to wake up and it’s gonna hurt a little less. And every day from there on out is going to be a little better than the day before, until one day this will all be just a distant memory.”

He pulls me in for one last hug before releasing me to plate my eggs.

“Nicky?” I absentmindedly fist the fabric of my Rolling Stones T-shirt at the stomach. “I have to tell you something.”

“After breakfast,” he interjects. “Okay? You need to eat first.” Nicky butters the toast before dropping it onto my plate. As he scans the cabinet in front of him for what I assume is peanut butter—because the lunatic he is can’t eat toast unless it’s coated in peanut butter—he holds my plate out in my direction, signaling me to come get it.

I drop down from the island with a sigh, initiating a step in his direction when I stop.

“Nicky.” My voice comes out low yet panicked.

Nicky turns to face me, the plate slipping from his hand and shattering at his feet.

I risk a glance down, only to have my worst fears confirmed by what I find.

A large crimson stain soaks through the front of my sleep shorts, as trails of blood race down my thighs. The cramping I mistook for hunger pains seems to intensify as I’m left frozen, forced to watch as the last sliver of my heart bleeds out onto the floor.

Four Years Later

CHAPTER 31

MAV

“So it’s settled then?” Nicky eyes me from across the table.

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