Page 11 of Stargazer

And what they'd done sure as hell wasn’t a crime, let alone something that made any of them evil and manipulative killers—something I’d accused them of. Something I’d so thoroughly convinced myself of that I’d gone away to learn how to fight them.

I knew I needed to stop dwelling on the things I couldn’t change. Because I had left. I had learned how to fight. I had momentarily moved on.

Nevertheless, there were wolves out there that did need to be stopped. Ones that weren’t so good or innocent. It was mainly that thought that gave me even a slither of relief that I had decided to leave and forge my own path. One that could probably help us now and bring our two worlds together to put a stop to this threat.

Maybe that was what needed to happen. Maybe if I hadn’t had left, I would have ended up dead, along with so many others in this war that I was completely unaware of.

Collateral damage, just like Amelia had been.

Leaving the Knights to come down here, I hadn’t known when I’d join them again. I didn’t know if I would. There was a part of me that considered not going back or continuing down that path, instead just using my knowledge to re-join the pack with an added edge that would keep me safe. And of course, being available to the Knights, should the task force need me—but ultimately taking a step back.

I wasn’t going to do that though.

I could work with Riv and his pack from now. Start gathering what information I could and keep mum and Kit—hell, even Thea—in the loop to make sure the Knights had everything they needed. I could be an ally to the pack as a Knight.

It still called to me; the need to fight and protect. Now more than ever.

It was decided. I’d get in touch with Thea. Tell her of my plan and make sure I was part of that task force when it came down. Ready to help in any way that I could.

I knew I was only one girl and I wouldn’t make much of a difference when it came to the physical aspect of this war. But I had connections on both sides and hopefully that would help foster this truce and give us an advantage over the rogue army. I told mum as much when I finally left the confines of my car and entered the house.

She was in her office when I opened the front door and called out, surrounded by her multiple desktops and feeds, deep in thought with files scattered around the desk.

I should have known she wasn’t in the army. It was so blatantly obvious now.

Her smile at seeing me was enough to instantly know that she was more than relieved to have me home.

She immediately got up, leaving her work behind and giving me a tight squeeze, acknowledging my plan but telling me there would be time to discuss business later. Then she gestured for me to follow her into the living room. It was late afternoon now, not quite dinner time, but mum didn’t hesitate to make a pitstop into the kitchen to turn the kettle on and cut us a slice of cake.

Mum could cook. She was a great cook actually. But she was far from a baker, so I knew the chocolate cake she sliced was store bought. I noted the box that was from my favourite bakery in town and grinned as she plated it up.

For a moment I just watched as she fluttered around our aged kitchen, gathering everything she needed to make us each a hot beverage. I was solely a coffee drinker, but mum and Celeste didn’t mind an afternoon cup of tea.

Watching mum now, I could see how she moved around with such precision and skill, even as she did such menial tasks. She was nimble, efficient and focused.

My mum the Knight.

I left her to her devices while I made my way upstairs and knocked on Celeste’s bedroom door, finding her sprawled across her bed with her multitude of textbooks and her headphones on. The image was so much like the one of mum in her study that it made me chuckle aloud.

My younger sister joined us downstairs a few minutes later.

I didn’t have much time to catch up with them yesterday when I arrived, before heading off to see River. I still couldn’t believe it was only yesterday morning when I’d left. Talk about an insane twenty-four hours. I told them about my experience at the Knights and my mum looked at me with what I assumed was pride before she reminisced on her early days in the compounds. She mentioned her own little group of friends that she’d made, including Thea, and it was almost impossible to imagine the cold, enigmatic leader as anything other than what she was now. Although, it was clear she was always a sucker for the rules.

Griffin did happen to come up, but I kept it brief to mum. Telling her about my small fling with the aloof, bad boy captain.

She was surprised to say the least, but I also caught the small smirk that she tried to hide at the fact that I’d ended up having a connection with her friend’s son.

Celeste headed upstairs after a while to get some more studying in once we devoured the takeout we’d ordered for dinner, leaving mum and me alone.

I’d followed her back to her office. She was going to make a call to Thea soon, in an attempt to gather more information on the task force and what could be expected. She’d offered to talk to her on my behalf about my plan to start meeting with the wolves as a representative of the Knights, given my history.

When there was a moment of silence between us that stretched on for too long, I turned to my mother, knowing that it was time to get what I needed off my chest.

“I’m sorry that I just left after everything you told me that day.” Despite me blurting it out, my words were low and dejected. “Are you … are you upset at me?”

She showed no signs of it, but I knew there was still a weird sort of strain on our relationship ever since that day.

She looked up from what she was doing at her desk. “Of course not, Cookie. You’re my baby. Nothing could ever come between us and how much I love you.” Cookie. It was the nickname she’d always had for me. I had no idea where it came from or why, but she always used it. My chest felt less tight already just hearing the name leave her mouth.

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