Page 35 of My Begrudging Scent Matches

“Tell us, then,” Grant says. His voice is so level, but there’s a storm behind those gray eyes. “Why are you so keen to run out of here as soon as the light of day has touched this?”

“Because there is no this. There is you two, and there is me. And I’m grateful for all of the orgasms, but they don’t change anything.”

The sizzling and popping of bacon on the pan behind Grant is the only sound while her words settle into everyone’s brains. She regrets them instantly, but doesn’t say so.

“She’s afraid,” Grant says. He’s all disappointed and crossed arms, it makes her feel three feet tall and like a pane of glass, he can stare right through.

“I’m not,” Alice says with a crack in her voice.

“What are you afraid of?” Caleb asks. “Is it us? Do you think you’d be unhappy?”

“No, you’re both so—” Alice runs a hand down her face then holds her neck. “You’re lovely and kind and hardworking, and it’s obvious you love each other very much, but I just don’t think I can fit into this.”

“What do you mean?” Caleb asks, and steps closer still. “You’re exactly what we need, Alice, we’ve been waiting to find you.”

“That’s just it. You’ve been waiting to find an Omega. Not me.”

Both men stare at Alice, not comprehending what she means.

“It’s in your nature to want an Omega. One that you can take care of and fill with little fucking handsome babies—of course you’ve been waiting to find an Omega. But can either of you tell me honestly that if we weren’t scent matches you’d have even considered me an option?”

They blink for a moment, and Caleb’s mouth hangs open like he wants to say something, but he can’t find the words.

“Admit it. You aren’t choosing me, something made that choice for you. And whether that was destiny or biology, how can I ever trust that either of you like me for who I am and not just what I am?”

“Sweetheart,” Caleb whispers. Every emotion is evident on his face.

“That’s what this is about? You think we don’t like you for who you are, that we aren’t attracted to you as a human being?” Grant asks. “We’ve been working with you for months, Alice, it’s not like you’re a stranger, of course we like you as a person.”

“And this feels right, doesn’t it? You have to feel it,” Caleb says.

That’s the scariest part of all this, Alice decides. The fact that she does feel it. There’s an urge when she’s with them to stay there, and when she’s not, she wants to get back to them as soon as possible. There’s an unsteadiness in her at the thought of them not being already bonded to her, and the impulse to vomit at the thought of them bonding with anyone else. She’s been battling this incessant feeling that they’re hers and that none of them can belong to anyone other than each other.

“You haven’t been sleeping,” Caleb says after she’s been quiet for too long. “Me either. And Grant has been a mess, grumpy and restless, but last night I slept. And when I woke up, I felt awake for the first time in days. You too, I can see it on your face.”

“We’re no good when we’re apart,” Grant agrees.

“Well, we need to learn to be!” Alice spouts.

She calms her breath in the quiet that follows, then meets both of their eyes, first Grant, then Caleb. He looks like a particularly sad small animal that’s just been kicked.

“Yes, I’m fucking scared,” she admits. “I don’t know that I’ll ever be the Omega you two want, and I don’t think I can take it if you learn everything there is to know about me and decide you don’t want me.”

“Isn’t that what a relationship is? Learning every little thing about a person and choosing to love them anyway?” Caleb asks.

“Give us the chance to choose you, too,” Grant says.

Alice wants to go to them and let them wrap her in their arms and hold her and kiss her and tell her everything will be okay for them. She wants to believe they’ll be patient with her and love her, even if she’s headstrong and skips lunch and is late constantly.

Caleb closes the distance between them and pulls her lightly towards him. She doesn’t fight him.

“Please consider it.” Caleb kisses her on the head like it’s the most natural thing in the world, then rests his head against hers. “Don’t rule us out.”

Grant stays where he is, his face like stone, but resigned. He gives a nod finally, agreeing with Caleb. “We’ll be here to prove it to you.”

thirteen

The next week at work is a total shit show for Alice, and she suspects the same is true for Caleb and Grant—the three of them have a matching set of bags beneath their eyes. And although work has been moving on as usual, none of them have appeared at all cheerful about it.

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