Page 158 of Save Me

Every night for three weeks, I’ve gone to bed and closed my eyes only to see those dark eyes right before I walked out of his door. That was the last time I saw him in person.

I thought it would get easier with time.

It hasn’t.

It’s only gotten harder.

“Who?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I can’t say.” I don’t want to bring Dae into this conversation. “I-I just don’t feel right knowing that someone else more qualified may have been overlooked because someone used their inside contacts to get me this position.”

James’ mouth flattens into a thin line. His attention moves from the resignation letter back to his computer screen. He remains silent for a while, looking over the article again.

He shakes his head. “No.”

“No?”

“I’m not accepting your resignation.” He holds up a hand when I try to reply. “Do you know how many people in this building got jobs because someone put in a good word for them?”

“It’s not the same.” Having a former employer put in a good word isn’t the same as what Dae did.

“It is,” he replies. “We all use our networks in one way or another. That’s what we have networks for. And if you weren’t good at your job, this would be an entirely different conversation.”

He looks at me and points to the computer screen.

“This is stellar work, Kennedy. You saw something that no one else noticed. Even I initially brushed off Erika Dalton's death as nothing more than a sad tragedy. But you,” he points at me, “your curiosity allowed you to see deeper. And you pressed until you got the answers you were seeking.

“Now, as a result, Blackmon and all of the other adults involved who hurt those teens are about to get the retribution they deserve.

“So no,” he says with finality. “I’m not accepting this resignation.” He stands, takes the paper, and rips it up.

Then he pins me with a look. His face drops. “Our job isn’t always easy. Honestly, you’ve looked like death warmed over the past couple of weeks.”

“Thanks,” I mumble.

“That was me putting it mildly,” he continues unapologetically. “I’m no stranger to sleepless nights, bags under my eyes, and surviving off coffee and donuts because I was wrapped up in an investigation. So, if that’s why you think it’s time to resign, think it over. Take some time off if you need to, and come back with a little more balance.

“But, right here and now, I’m not accepting your resignation.”

He takes the scraps of the letter in his hand and throws them in the wastebasket next to his desk.

I should protest. Stand by my conviction. However, I don’t have the energy to fight him on this.

“How about you take the rest of the day off?” he suggests. “Your article’s done, and you look like you could use some extra sleep.” He nods as if convincing himself that’s all I need.

I wish.

Silently, I nod and rise to my feet. I mumble a thanks before leaving his office. Every step I take feels like I’m walking through quicksand. Ever since that day three weeks ago, I’ve been living with this heaviness that weighs on every part of my mind and body.

My heart aches every second of the day. James mentioned needing extra sleep and he’s right. I haven’t slept well in weeks because every time I close my eyes, all I see is Dae.

Even though my head continues to hold firm to my conviction to forget all about Dae Kim, my body refuses to listen.

Two days ago, I was driving home from work, and it took me twenty minutes to realize that I’d automatically started driving to his house.

That same fucking house he used to trap me like I was a prisoner.

As I approach my desk, I see a large paper bag waiting for me. Pain in my chest increases.

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