Page 49 of Breaker

I nod before moving out of his hold, taking a seat, and immediately picking up a fork. I take a small bite of the cake before looking at my dad, who smiles wide.

"You could never say no to cake." I shrug, not denying it, making him chuckle as he takes in my hoodie. A small smile hits his face before he asks, "Breakers?"

After another bite, I put my fork down before nodding and admitting, "I'm in love with him."

He nods and states, "And you're scared."

I wipe away a few fallen tears, and say, "My instincts are telling me to run."

He sighs, sitting forward, becoming serious. "And you need to ignore those instincts, Quinny." My tears fall some more. "What I did was wrong, it was completely wrong. I have no excuses, pumpkin. Things with your momma were hard back then, and I was an idiot. I regretted it instantly, and I never did it again, but the aftermath…." He shakes his head. "Your momma had no right to make you keep those secrets. She should have told me the truth years ago, then maybe, just fucking maybe, our relationship could have been fixed. She's tried to focus on what I did as a reason why you wanted nothing to do with me, forgetting the trauma you had to go through because of what she did. She got drunk and made a decision that affected you."

I cut in, not wanting to stick up for Momma but needing to, "She was hurt, Daddy…."

He nods, his eyes hardening. "Yeah, she was hurt, Quinny, hurt enough to do that to get my attention." My eyes widen in shock, but he shakes his head. "Your mother told me…. Before you walked into that room and saw what you saw, she was about to call me. She wanted to get my attention; she wanted to hurt me to show me what my actions had caused, but instead, she traumatized our seven-year-old daughter."

My mouth drops open in shock. "But her words…." I trail off as anger takes hold and snap, finally realizing what my mother had done. "Were to make me hate you!"

He nods. "I love your momma, Quinny, and that's why I haven't left her. Yes, I hurt her, yes, I made a massive, stupid mistake with a conniving bitch, but those mistakes do not warrant her purposely ensuring you would hate me. It doesn't warrant her traumatizing you. Because of her actions, you've closed off from love. You're running away. Because of her, I've lost years of my daughter's life, milestones I've had to watch from afar."

I furrow my brows. "All the times she's tried to get me to talk to you…."

He finishes off my sentence, "Was her guilt coming through. A part of her removed the memory of what she did to you. She blocked it out. It took her a moment to understand when I confronted her, before she broke."

I swallow hard. "She was still punishing you."

He nods. "And what better way to punish me than to ensure my daughter, who looked up to me, hates me? Subconsciously, her guilt ate away at her, and in her mind, she couldn't understand why you hadn't forgiven me."

I shake my head as a sob leaves my mouth, confused how my momma could do this, could use my fear like this.

"I will be continuing counseling with your momma. She's scared I will leave her, but I physically can't. She's my everything, pumpkin, but right now, I'm not going to convince you to talk to her about what you've gone through, because her actions were caused by mine. I am going to convince you not to give up on your relationship with a man who loves you with everything that he is." My tears fall again, causing him to squeeze my hand. "I know you're scared, darling, I understand the fear, but don't let it consume you. Hold on to that man."

I sniffle. "But I don't know how. I’m scared, and he let…." I shake my head, not able to finish the sentence.

My father's eyes soften. "You hurt him, Quinny. He felt lost without you after you ran at the first hurdle. Start it off slow. Maybe text him, ask him how his day is going, and go on from there. I'll be in your corner every step of the way to help motivate you and push you toward your happiness. Maybe seek help from a therapist to help you understand your fears better, and overcome them."

I let out a sob. "But-but I'm leaving."

His eyes get teary as he smiles. "Do you really think he'll let you move that far away?"

He squeezes my hand again, and I know he's right. Alex won't let me leave; I know it. A part of me is waiting for that phone call, stating my position has been pulled.

Can I start fresh with him, though?

Can I get over my fear of all-consuming love?

Can I forgive my family?

But the more important question is…can he forgive me for trying to run?

21

Breaker – One Month Later

I watch as Noah climbs up the wooden play structure, making his way to the slide in the club's backyard.

One month after spending the night with my girl, we're back to me sitting outside her door again, the only difference is that she's been messaging me daily.

They started out small, asking how my day was, wondering if Noah is talking to me, and then the frequency increased.

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