Page 50 of Breaker

Yesterday, she messaged me that she missed me, which is big for her. Knowing what happened when she was a child helps me understand her reasons for running, and her messaging me every day proves how much she wants us. It's fucking progress, but it's not enough for me. I need her to open the door, but I know it will take time, and my call with Paul proves that.

I grunt as I hit the axe against the tree, needing to try and not think of my girl or the fact that my son is still ignoring me.

My bat has vanished, Sniper taking it, knowing I'd use the axe, and the fucker has a wood burner in his house and clearly needs wood. The bag sitting nearby with his name spray painted on it proves it was him, though I don't know when he had the time. He's barely been at the club lately. At the same time, Tech, the fucker, looks ready to blow since his ex, Nina, popped up like an unwanted poisonous flower, causing destruction in his new relationship with Brook.

I’m swinging the axe again when my phone rings. I sigh and walk over to my cut to grab it. We've already had church, so I know it's not counsel business.

I furrow my brows when I notice that it's Paul.

"Is Quinn okay?" I answer, making him chuckle.

"She's good. I saw her this morning."

My brows raise at his words, and I ask, "She showed?"

He hums and admits, "She did. I hugged her, and to both our surprise, she hugged me back before crying."

I grit my teeth, hating that she cried and that I couldn't be there to comfort her.

"She was open with you, though?" I ask.

He admits, "She was. We both finally talked about the past and the fact her mother purposely made her hate me, letting that hate fester over the years. I'm not going to sugarcoat it for you, son, it's going to take time, but she wants you." My heart pounds at his words. "She admitted to being in love with you, fuck, she even showed up wearing your hoodie. She's agreed to see someone to help with her fears and the trauma her mother caused. If you love her like I believe you do, give her time, but don't give up."

I blink as Noah shouts at Crow to watch him, and Crow chuckles, doing as Noah asks. Today was Quinn's last day at the school before summer break, so rightfully, he's blamed me and now Lola, and refuses to even look at me. She's due to leave in two weeks to settle into her new job, but should receive an email from the school sharing their disappointment that she wouldn’t be joining their staff for the new school year.

I know she'll be mad, but I honestly don't care. Her job at the school here is safe; we've ensured it with the help of all the parents. Daisy’s momma, Amanda, is front and center to ensure it, and yes, Quinn has let her lease expire, but she has a home here with Noah and me; most of her stuff are still hanging in our closet.

The sooner she figures that out, the better because, fuck, do I miss her…and I miss my son.

Crow pats my back as he sits beside me. "Talk to me, son."

I shake my head, watching Noah, and admit, "I feel lost."

He sighs and asks, "Has she messaged you today?"

I nod. "She said she has a counseling session today. Paul mentioned she's not willing to speak to her mother, and even Jack is pissed after learning the full truth of what his sister endured."

Crow growls, "The woman needs to realize she didn't just punish her husband for his actions, she punished her daughter, too. She traumatized her, and now her daughter struggles with relationships."

I nod as Noah goes to the monkey bars. I shout, "Be careful, Bud!" but he ignores me, making me sigh. "I miss her, and I miss my son."

He grips the back of my neck as Noah cheers for himself as he gets from one side to the other. Crow rasps, "Maybe speak to Smokey and Snake about going on the next club run to clear your head. Your momma and I will take Noah."

I nod, knowing he's right. I need to leave, I need to get my head screwed on tight because I can't fucking breathe. I'm ready to explode, and that's something no one wants. The last time I exploded was when I lost my dad and destroyed half the clubhouse, and Crow had to take me away for a few days.

I’m looking back at Noah to see he's running back to the ladder for the slide when Lola stands in front of me, pissing me off. She can see I'm watching my kid, and everyone knows I don't like to take my eyes off him when he's on the jungle gym.

"Lola, you need to move," Crow starts, but she cuts him off and snaps, "No…it's been weeks, Noah hates me, and you, Breaker, won't even look at me. I made a mistake, and if this is the only time I can get you to talk to me, then so be it."

I growl, snapping my head in anger, making her step back. "A mistake? You were the main fucking reason my girl was looking for jobs out of state after you started a fucking riot at the school. I don't want to talk to you, Lola, and Noah doesn't, either. He looks at Quinn like a mother, and I look at Quinn like the love of my life, and you knew that, but being the spoiled club brat you are, you thought you could do what you wanted, when you wanted. You've treated my mother like shit all because Crow fell in love with her." Guilt shines through her eyes. "You've had a fantasy about us I never fucking played any part in. You don't want me because I'm me, you fucking wanted a brother, and thought I'd be the one to turn my head in your direction, but it never would have happened. You're entitled, and even now, you're not giving me the space I've fucking asked for. Instead, you've decided to stand in the way while I'm trying to watch my son play. Now do me a favor and move your ass, and leave me the hell alone!"

Her eyes widen before she looks at Crow, hoping he will stick up for her. Instead, he shakes his head at her.

"You heard him, Lola."

Anger shines through her eyes before a scream echoes through the quietness of the yard, a scream that will fucking haunt me. Lola jumps and turns around as I rush past her, knocking her out of the way. My heart stops at the sight of Noah lying on the ground, crying, and holding his head as blood seeps between his little fingers.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

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