Page 24 of Haunted

“I understand the pain,” she says.

How could she have possibly felt pain over her father’s death?

“This pain will subside,” she says. “Coax it into a ball, and bury it away.”

The coldness of her palm burns me. I slide my hand away. “Is that what you did?” After you murdered the man whom you owed your life to?

She ignores my jab. “This will be hard. I’m here for you, Caedryn.”

“You don’t care about me.”

“Haven’t I shown compassion toward you?” she asks. “Given you position? Rewarded you for your loyalty?”

Don’t fall into her goading, I tell myself. I speak to the wall. “I need time to grieve. I request leave from your court.”

Her voice is somewhat calculated. “Of course.”

“I must have time to establish my rule, set affairs in order.”

Her hand strokes my bicep. “Take all the time you need. When you are ready, I expect your return.”

I chew the inside of my bottom lip to keep from screaming. “I must request that you appoint someone else as chancellor. I cannot rule Creiddylad from Morvith. I already have an ambassador in mind to replace me.”

She grips my upper arm. “You will grace me with your presence.”

I turn away, relieved when her touch breaks, and stride across the room. “I must go to Siarl.”

19

I kneel beside Siarl’s bed. He’s laid out in preparation for the cleansing ritual. Siarl’s withered hands are clasped on his chest. I trace his paper-thin skin with my fingers. Watching him grow from a young child, into a man, and then surpass my ageless form wasn’t easy. I knew this day would come, but it doesn’t make it any less painful.

How many others would I have to watch die?

Nesta stirs in the corner. Her countenance gives me peace. Without the empress beside her, Nesta subtly glows from within—not unusual for a half-emrys.

I sniff and swipe a tear from my eye.

“Would you like to know how he died?” she asks.

I’m not sure I’ll believe anything Nesta tells me. She will lie to support her empress.

When I don’t say anything, Nesta says, “I can show you. I know you don’t trust me because I work for the empress—”

I stand and shake my head. “That’s not it—”

“The light does not lie. I will show you.” She approaches Siarl’s bedside, across from me, and takes my hands. Her hands cover mine as we lay them on Siarl’s head. “Close your eyes,” she says.

Her braid hangs over her shoulder between us. The brown color bears streaks of white, which often manifests in a powerful bearer of light. I close my eyes, soaking in the purity of a true healer.

My sight expands as it dives into Siarl. Nesta guides me, pulling my light with hers. She grabs microscopic pathways in his mind and follows them. “The route into his mind should be shimmering with light and intelligence.” Nesta pauses, and I’m aware that she’s forming her thoughts. “But in death, these paths slowly decay until nothing is left.”

A heaviness settles below my sternum. I swallow and will it away. I don’t want to see his dying mind. My hands flinch, but Nesta holds them steady.

“Here,” she says as our vision pulls back from smaller components into larger ones.

We’ve come to an obstruction. My light tells me the vessel is clotted and gummy. The vessel’s edges are ragged and flayed as if they’ve burst.

“What does it look like to you?” she asks.

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