Page 97 of Haunted

And the only words I could dredge up were that she missed dinner. Inwardly, I smack myself on the forehead.

Why can’t I just tell her how I feel?

She’s so close, adjusting the covers on her side of the bed.

I sense a warmth from her, a compassionate emotion, as well as her physical heat.

The cold in my center becomes very real with her beside me. I suppress a shudder, but my darkness and its ever present cold is overwhelming next to her inner light.

I almost hyperventilate when she pushes her pillow beside mine.

Then her body curls behind me. Her arm wraps my stomach.

I freeze, completely. Then arch my back away from her.

I can’t take deep breaths. Every inhale brings my body into contact with hers.

“This isn’t for you; this is for me,” she whispers.

For you.

Then I die, because ever so slowly, almost as a whisper against my spirit, her light slides into me. She’s trying to be subtle so I won’t pull away, but I sense the tiny stream of energy nonetheless.

I’m powerless to stop her because I don’t want to.

I will let her feed my spirit, let her sink a part of herself into me.

She relaxes against my back. I don’t soften. I’m terrified of this woman.

I have never felt such gentleness that I don’t know what to do.

Steady, Caedryn. Steady.

Drink her up.

I vow to myself that I will never hurt her, never kiss her again as I had before.

I will be gentle.

I will be controlled.

She’s wrong. This night isn’t just for her.

This is for me, to prove to myself that I am not a beast.

67

I don’t sleep for a single second. Niawen slips into a comfortable sleep, with her breaths steady against my neck. How can I possibly submit to unconsciousness?

By the time the sun peeks through the curtains, I’ve at least relaxed against her, but it wasn’t without several hours of debate on my part.

But I have control.

When she whispered my name in her slumber, I almost lost it. I grabbed her hand and clutched it to my chest.

She didn’t wake.

Satisfied with the victory over my control, I cling to her with fervor, as if this might be the only time I’ll ever get to hold her so closely.

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