Page 68 of Haunted

“Niawen, you don’t have to.” I’m acutely aware of her studying my face. What do you see in the depths of my soul, Niawen? I am tempted to bare it to her, but even as a crack opens up, I slam the door shut. I cannot allow her to see.

She cannot see what haunts me and drags sorrow across my heart.

Too late, a change passes over her face. She saw something.

I blink and relax into my chair, pretending I didn’t notice or didn’t decrease my control for a second. “I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to have another emrys with the same skills. I’ve been around mortals for far too long. It has its disadvantages. Without sensing my emotions, no one sees behind the face. No one has reason to console. Or reason to rejoice.” I lower my voice. “Or reason to fear.”

“You’re saying you’re fearsome?” She suppresses a laugh.

I edge my voice with animosity. I must make her fear me to protect my secrets, to keep her safe. “Those who have faced my wrath would dare say so.”

She snickers. A solid laugh escapes her throat, rolling across the room. I’m too surprised to be enraged. I laugh, but only because I’m a fool.

She thinks I’m amusing when I am stern.

When we settle, both picking up our goblets as if the strange laughter never happened, she says, “I grew tired of emrys sensing my emotions in Gorlassar. I prefer to keep things private. It’s refreshing being around humans.”

“Really?” Astonishment fills me. “Yet the first thing you do is probe with your light. You’re a walking contradiction.”

She tucks her hands into her lap. “Sensing emotions is so commonplace in Gorlassar. It’s habit. It’s normal.”

“I see. So it’s perfectly acceptable to sense what I’m feeling, to violate my privacy?” Even though I’ve been violating her privacy for months.

“It’s not like that. Most of the time, emotions reached me; it’s usually not necessary to discern deeper. Nothing is secret in Gorlassar. With emotions on display, I didn’t have to play immature guessing games.”

I chuckle. “Immature guessing games? Am I playing immature guessing games with you?”

“I won’t look again.”

“Relax, Niawen.” I drop my voice and enunciate my words. “I haven’t even begun playing games.”

Her mouth parts, ready to retort.

“I apologize.” I should look away, but the pale berry color and the oval shape of her mouth entices me. “I suppose I’m used to being alone in my perception of humans. I’ve made my own game of it.”

“Do you toy with them?”

By the Creator, yes, as I will toy with you. “Not as much as I’d like to, but I’ll tell you a secret.” I lean toward her and imagine the tender berries of her mouth bruising my lips. “Humans can’t guess your emotions if you don’t show them. You don’t have to let them in. No one needs to read your innermost feelings. You can keep them private.”

She must never know my thoughts. She must never know how I objectify her.

“Is that what you believe? You believe someone couldn’t possibly fathom what goes on in your head if they can’t see the expression on your face?”

“You tell me. What do you see now, without discerning?”

She huffs and shakes her head. I’ve flustered her, and it’s written over her entire frame as she stiffens.

“Niawen?”

She is no different from me. Just as unrestrained with her emotions. She lashes out. Her temperament is unstable, but she would have me believe otherwise.

A heat burns through me. I cannot deny my attraction to her. I’ve been alone far too long, and my body aches.

No. I will not fall to the impulse throbbing through my core.

I return to our game.

Look at just me.

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