Page 45 of Dad Next Door

“It’s just messed up that our entire society is centered around dating and finding a long-term partner so you can follow some arbitrary timeline that doesn’t fit with today’s world. And the messaging around dating culture is so toxic now. I just don’t understand why being single is so wrong. Why being happy and having friends and focusing on building the life you want for yourself is so taboo.”

Quinn had just summed up everything I’d realized about my marriage after it ended. Our relationship had been real for me, but it had only been convenient for Simon. He’d married me because I was there and he wanted to get married, not because he wanted to be married to me.

“Tris?” Quinn asked softly. “You okay?”

I nodded, only then realizing I’d been staring at the floor unseeingly. “Did I tell you that Simon never even proposed to me?”

“He didn’t?” Quinn gently pried the glass of water out of my hand. “Probably not the best idea to be squeezing that.” He held out his other hand. “This is better. Less risk of injury.”

Needing some extra support, I slipped my hand into his.

“He didn’t propose to you?” Quinn asked, running his thumb over my knuckles.

“Nope. He wasn’t the romantic type. It wasn’t so bad in the beginning because he at least pretended like he enjoyed my company, but that ended as soon as Leo was born. We were together for fourteen years, and in that time, he never bought me a gift.”

“Are you serious? Not even once?”

“Nope. He gave me cash on my birthday and at Christmas so I could buy whatever I wanted, but we had joint finances, so he was basically giving me my own money to spend. Every Christmas morning I’d sit there and watch Leo open his presents, see Simon open his stocking, and mine would be empty. Opening a stocking that you filled yourself isn’t exactly a great time, but I just stopped expecting anything and pretended it didn’t bother me because it was easier than begging my husband to put even an iota of effort into me. It was easier to just be lonely than keep begging the man I married to pay attention to me or spend time with me.”

Quinn put the glass of water on a nearby table and gently took my other hand.

“I didn’t see it then, but Simon chose me because I was convenient. We met when I was twenty-three and in a bad place. I’d just started vet school and was struggling financially. My family was pressuring me to settle down, and I was vulnerable. Then he came along and love-bombed me, but not with affection, if you can believe it. He used attention. He smothered me with it and made me believe he cared about me, but it was always conditional on me falling in line and fitting into his plans and his life. The biggest red flag was how he moved me into his condo after three months together but didn’t tell me he loved me for another year. I had to earn every crumb of affection, but there was hell to pay the second I held anything back.”

Quinn’s expression went from sympathetic to angry, then back.

“I didn’t have a lot of experience with relationships when I met him, and I mistook attention for affection. I thought financially supporting me while I was in school was the same as him showing he cared. I assumed he had to love me if he was putting time and money into my future.” I huffed out a laugh, but even I could hear that it was flat and devoid of any emotion. “But yeah. The proposal that never was. It happened the night after I graduated from vet school. We were sitting in the living room watching a show together, and after the credits rolled, he looked over at me and said, ‘It’s time.’”

“It’s time?”

“To move on to the next phase of the plan. That’s what he said when I asked what he meant. That was his entire proposal.”

Quinn’s eyes flashed with something. Indignation?

“Almost fifteen years together, and the only things I have to show for it are a house I hate and sharing custody of my son with a man who still treats us like afterthoughts.”

Gentle pressure on my hands startled me out of the crush of memories that flooded my mind. I shook my head and blinked a few times to clear the cobwebs.

“Sorry.” I smiled wryly. “This is the first wedding I’ve gone to since Simon left me. I thought I was over all that crap, but I guess not.”

“Don’t be sorry, Tris. You never have to be sorry for your feelings. You have every right to be angry about everything. It’s natural that it would be brought to the surface tonight.”

“I can’t wait for the day when I can think of Simon and feel relief that he’s out of my life and not regret the years he stole from me. I spent almost my entire adult life with him, wasted all those years trying to create a life that could never be. I put everything into my marriage, but it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”

Quinn let go of my hands and gently cupped my cheeks. “You’re more than enough, Tris,” he said, his voice quiet but his tone fierce. “He didn’t deserve you. He’s the asshole. He’s the one who wasn’t enough, who will never be worth even a fraction of what you are. He’s a user and an abuser, and it’s not your fault he preyed on you. He knew exactly what he was doing when he targeted you. None of this is your fault.”

My breath caught at both his words and the way he was touching me. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched me with so much tenderness.

He’s being a good friend. He’s stopping you from having a meltdown at your friend’s wedding. I repeated that a few times, unable to move or look away as Quinn’s breathing picked up and he traced his eyes over my face.

I stopped breathing when his gaze lingered on my mouth.

He licked his lips and looked into my eyes. Confusion and what could be heat warred in his expression.

Wait, heat? No. That wasn’t possible.

Was it?

Quinn dropped his hands and stepped back. My heart fell at the same time relief washed over me.

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