Page 33 of Fractured Devotion

“What exactly are you asking of me, Massimo?” I shook my head, a futile attempt to dislodge the despair. “I can’t— won’t leave his side. And you… you need to brace yourself because if he doesn’t pull through, I won’t live in a world he’s not in.”

Massimo opened his mouth, no doubt to mention the very thing I had barred from my thoughts. I held up my hand.

“Just… don’t.” The world spun slightly as I pressed my eyelids together, taking in lungfuls of sterile air, fighting the acid threat of panic. “I just can’t.”

“You have to, Carmela. You can’t hide from it forever.”

I knew he was right, but I couldn’t think about it without him. I wouldn’t. It was a reminder of everything I didn’t deserve. “The doctor is coming by today. I’m not sure why, though. Nothing has changed since yesterday.”

A knock at the door made me turn my head in time to see Dr. Luchasi step through.

“How’s the patient?”

I cut my eyes to him. “The same as yesterday.”

He nodded, stepping up to the bed. “I got the test results back and wanted to talk to you about what to expect.” I gripped Alex’s hand in mine as he spoke. “As you know, we removed his spleen and repaired a portion of his bowel.”

Drugs do crazy things to people. I was living proof of that. Out of mind, I thought Alex was one of the men trying to take me again, and in a moment of haze, I drove the blade I’d taken off Andrei into Alex’s gut. It tore through his flesh like it was butter. Only I didn’t know what that one moment in time had cost me.

“He lost a lot of blood before arriving at the hospital, Carmela.”

His words were short but filled with so much meaning. “He’s not going to wake up, is he?”

Dr. Luchasi glanced over at Massimo, and they exchanged silent words.

“We don’t know, Carmela. His brain scans indicate there was no damage, but the lack of him waking up after this long is concerning, and we have to prepare for the possibility he won’t come out of this.”

I pushed to my feet and glanced around the room, my eyes finally landing on the man that I loved more than my next breath.

“I did this. His life is reduced to being in that bed. He deserves something better… something that’s not me.” I spun on my heel and tore out of the room.

Massimo called after me as I took the stairs two at a time. Antonio, Michael, and Rachel stood in the living room, watching Michelangelo play on the floor. I sped past them and burst out the front door. Tilting my head up to the sky, I closed my eyes and inhaled. Slipping my phone from my pants, I closed my eyes.

He deserved better. They all did. As my thumb hovered over the contacts, it paused on the icon of the one person who’d yanked me from the edge once already. I tapped the screen, lifting the phone to my ear.

The heaviness in my voice carried through the line. “I can’t be here anymore.”

The reply was a muffled grunt. “Why?”

“It’s on me—all of it. He’s not coming back, and I-I just can’t stand being here when I’m reminded of that every second. Can I crash with you for a while?”

“Of course.” The response was immediate. “You still remember the way?”

A wry smile flickered across my face, a brief respite from the engulfing grief. “Yep. Can’t believe you stuck around in Vegas.”

“It’s where she is, so I’m here to stay.”

The revelation that his daughter hadn’t been at the compound but had been one of the first rescued in Columbia was still fresh. She was now getting the help she needed, thanks to Lorenzo’s quick actions. The pieces of the past had only recently clicked into place. With a heavy heart, I slipped the phone into my pocket and moved toward my car.

“You’re not just running away, are you?” a voice called out, tinged with concern.

My hand found the cool metal of the driver’s side door, pressing flat against it, seeking some grounding.

“If I go, maybe that’s what he needs. All I’ve brought him is suffering.”

“And what about the pain he’ll feel, waking up to find you’ve vanished once more?” Antonio’s voice cut through my resolve.

Spinning around, I found Antonio descending the stairs, his eyes a mix of empathy and realism.

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