Page 34 of Fractured Devotion

“I’m not disappearing for good. I just need a breather at Harlen’s. Staying here, knowing I’m the cause of all this…” My voice trailed off.

“Sometimes a step back gives you the space to face what you’re dodging,” he suggested. His voice followed me as I pulled the door ajar. “This family doesn’t do anything in half-measures. We go about shit backward, but in the end, it’s worth everything.”

With the door open and my resolve wobbling, I shot back, “I’ll call. I promise.” And with that, I stepped into the refuge of my car, leaving the weight of my decisions on the doorstep.

nineteen

ALEX

Have you ever woken up from a really long nap and not known where you were? That’s what it felt like as I tried to peel my eyes open and blink. It took me a few moments to clear my vision, but once it did, I knew I wasn’t home. I pushed myself up and was immediately met with the wet snout of my dog.

“Hey, buddy. Where is everyone?”

Kicking the sheet off my body, I was relieved to see I was at least wearing a pair of sweats. An IV line ran from my arm to the pole next to the bed. Ripping the tape off the needle, I pulled it from my arm and stood. The room swayed briefly as I waited to acclimate being upright. Taking a deep breath, I slowly made my way to the door and stepped out. Immediately, I realized where I was—Michael and Antonio’s house. Using the wall for leverage, I eased myself down the hallway and paused when I heard voices.

“Harlen called. She’s refusing to come out of her room.” Celestina’s voice carried through the space.

“It’s been one thing after the other.” Catarina was here, making me wonder what the hell was going on. “I went by last night to check on her, and medically, she’s all healed. The doctor said that what happened was to be expected. The combination of the drugs and physical abuse she endured was just too much. Her body did exactly what it needed to do to heal itself. But emotionally… I don’t know if she will ever get back to a good place without him.”

“And Harlen thinks he can ensure she doesn’t do anything rash?” Massimo’s deep voice was laced with worry.

“Yeah, but he thinks she needs to come here… to see Alex. He thinks it will do her good.”

“She hasn’t been here in weeks. What makes you think she’ll come now?” Celestina scoffed. “Carmela won’t even come see her niece and nephews.”

“There has to be something we can do. I can’t stand that we’ve found only to lose her again.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I stepped out into the sitting room and spoke.

“Then take me to her.”

Every pair of eyes turned toward me.

“What the fuck?” Massimo stood and rushed to my side. “What… How… Alex, you’re awake.”

“Seems like I woke up at just the right moment. Where’s Carmela?”

Celestina stood and moved to stand before me, her eyes glistening with tears. “You’ve been in a coma-like state for a long time, Alex. Do you remember what happened?”

“When you say a long time, what does that mean exactly? And yes, I remember everything.”

Celestina’s touch was warm as she ushered me to the couch. There, enveloped in the comfort of cushions, I absorbed the deluge of truths they had to share. For nine whole weeks, the world had spun on without me, my mind locked away in a deep slumber—nine weeks during which Carmela shouldered blame that was never hers to carry. I lay oblivious to the turmoil while she grappled with misplaced guilt.

As they recounted the weeks I’d spent unconscious, I learned of Carmela’s torment. She had carried a burden that was never hers to bear, shouldering the guilt for the chaos that unfolded, all while I was lost in a void. But the truth was clear—the blame rested squarely with Lipovsky. He was the puppeteer who had orchestrated this nightmare, not her. Drugged and pushed to her limits, Carmela had lashed out in a visceral bid for survival.

“There’s more,” Massimo sighed. Celestina shot him a look that I couldn’t decipher. “No, Celestina. He needs to know what he’s dealing with because he’s the only one who can bring her back to us.”

“What more can there possibly be? She blames herself for something she had no control over.”

Massimo’s gaze fell, and Catarina took a seat, her posture on the edge of my brother’s chair signaling urgency.

“There’s another layer to Carmela’s struggle. She’s tormented by the role she believes she played in your ordeal, sure, but it goes beyond that. She’s also grappling with a revelation they discovered upon y’all’s return. In her mind, had she faced it head-on rather than turning away, maybe things would stand differently. Yet the truth we all see is that some events are beyond our control. None of us could’ve altered the events that unfolded.”

“I don’t understand.” I rubbed my palm down my face. “What?—”

“Glad to see my patient is up and moving.” Dr. Luchasi interrupted as he moved into the room. “How are you feeling, Alex?”

“Like I slept for a year.”

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