Page 152 of Summer After Summer

“Me neither.”

“When did you get in?”

“Yesterday.”

“And you came here on purpose?”

“I did.”

“Why?”

I think about telling him the truth, then stop myself. “Like I said, I needed somewhere to eat. And I remember our meal here. It was great.”

“You didn’t know I’d be here?”

“No, how could I?”

He sits back, his hands in his lap. “How long are you in town for?”

“Depends on what happens on the court.”

“And where are you staying?”

I tell him, then I look at the menu, trying to decide what I’m going to eat. There isn’t much that fits in with my diet plan, and Matt would be pissed that I’ve even come here, but I need this. I needed to see him, so I can concentrate on what I’m doing.

“How are you?” I ask.

“I’m good.”

“Should I go? Is this too weird?”

“No, we should order.”

He flags the waiter, and we both order something. Fish in a simple sauce for me, and a rice dish for Fred—the seafood rice he raved about last time. He orders another bottle of wine too, even though I say I’m not drinking. Fred smiles apologetically and doesn’t say what’s obvious: he needs the drinks to get through this.

The waiter leaves and it’s just us again. Not the same table where we were five years ago, but I can see it through the windows, outside in the back, pretty lights strung above it, the vines on the wall creating privacy. Another couple is sitting there, holding hands in the candlelight. I drag my eyes away.

“You never answered me,” Fred says. “Not any of the times I called or wrote. You never let me explain.”

“What was there to say?”

“I didn’t mean—”

I hold up my hand. “Fred, no. You were dating her, right? She was your girlfriend?”

He sighs. “Yes.”

“That’s all that’s important.”

“I didn’t want … I didn’t expect things to be so complicated so quickly.”

I pick up my knife because I need something concrete to hold onto. “Can I give you another perspective?”

“Okay.”

“You lured me to London. You made it so we’d run into each other again, and then you pursued me. And that whole time, you had a girlfriend you never told me about. I think she even called you once when we were together. That day in Bath. You didn’t break up with her. You waited to see if things would work out between us, keeping her like a backup plan. Did I miss something?”

He expels a long breath. “You make it sound so calculated.”

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