Page 34 of Trick of Light

“I feel like a child,” she said.

Rebecca and Esme sat opposite her and peered at her curiously.

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to him,” Rebecca said finally as Bethany chewed through a large morsel of peanut butter and oatmeal. “What made you change your mind?”

“They’ve been through everything together!” Esme said, her shoulders jumping to her ears. “That wasn’t the kind of relationship you could turn your back on. Don’t you remember how they were, Rebecca?”

It was bizarre to hear her mother speak about her high school relationship as though she weren’t across the table. But in many ways, Bethany felt as though she drifted overhead, lost in her memories.

Rebecca waved her hand. “Plenty of people have high school romances. Not everyone gets back in touch.”

“In this day and age? With Facebook?” Esme insisted. “I’m sure many people do!”

Rebecca grimaced. “It’s not always for the best. I know I was the one to give him your number, but I’ve gone back and forth about that. I’m so sorry if I overstepped.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Bethany said. “He didn’t reach out because he wanted to see me, necessarily. It’s not some romantic thing. His grandson is very sick.” She rubbed her eyes, smearing her makeup over the tips of her fingers. It was a habit she’d thought she’d abandoned by age fifteen. “And he wanted my opinion.”

Esme’s spine was stick-straight. “Little Felix is sick?”

Rebecca’s face looked like it was melting.

“It’s a very rare and aggressive form of cancer that requires a rather immediate surgical procedure,” Bethany said, her tone formal. “I’ve already arranged for an appointment for surgery. I can’t imagine giving the task to another doctor.”

Esme’s eyes widened. Over the table, she gripped Rebecca’s hand so hard that Rebecca winced.

“You’re going to save his grandson,” Esme breathed.

“After the summer I’ve had,” Bethany said tentatively, “I feel this is finally something to live for. Saving that little boy might save me.”

The front door screamed open, and Victor Sutton called through the house. “Is anyone home?”

It was exactly how he’d entered years ago, back when Bethany had been a child and eager for Victor to return. Sometimes she, Rebecca, Valerie, and Joel would scamper from upstairs, bouncing all over one another to try to get to Victor first. The warmth of his first hug after a long day was one of the most nourishing things Bethany knew.

Guided by the strength of this memory, Bethany stood, brushed the tears from her cheeks, and waded down the hallway to meet Victor. She hadn’t yet seen him since he’d arrived, as she, Rebecca, and Esme had hunkered down and kept things low-key. But Victor and Esme were incredibly close friends these days. Bethany had known this was coming.

At the first sight of her father since their tumultuous June, Bethany’s knees gave way. He looked healthy and tan, his gray hair tossed from an afternoon of sailing. Probably because Esme had told him what was going on—that Bethany was leaving Nick—he set down his bag and opened his arms. Bethany hurried toward him, and he enveloped her, just the way he had when she’d been little and frightened.

“It’s okay, Bethy,” her father murmured, as though it were a part of a song she’d always heard. “It’s going to be all right.”

That evening, after they dined outside on burgers, salad, and a berry salad, the children played soccer in the yard, whacking the ball this way and scurrying to catch up with one another. Phoebe was always last, her hair flowing wildly behind her. Bethany sipped her iced tea and listened to the soft rhythm of her parents and sister’s conversation. They were talking about Nantucket schools and what to expect.

“Have you already enrolled them?” Bethany asked.

Rebecca’s eyes brightened. “Last week.”

“And it was an easy process?”

“The easiest,” Rebecca said, clasping her hands together. Quietly, she added, “Are you considering it?”

Victor, Esme, and Rebecca watched her intently as though her answer would make or break the reunion of this family. Now that she’d brought Maddie, Tommy, and Phoebe into their lives, they weren’t apt to give them up.

“I am,” Bethany said with a smile.

But even as they spoke more about the logistics of the coming weeks—the hospitalization of Felix, her children’s start at school—Bethany thought back to Savannah and wondered about Nick. Was he still locked away in his office, drinking himself blue? Had his parents stepped in and demanded something more of him? Was he still able to outrun his legal problems at the hospital?

It felt as though Bethany had left a heaping dumpster fire back in Savannah. And now that she was taking Felix back there for surgery, she knew she would have to face it. She wasn’t sure how she would manage. But the fate of a little boy’s health was in the mix—and she had to be strong.

As Bethany and Rebecca did the dishes that night, they gazed out the window at Victor and Esme, who’d opened a bottle of wine as night fell around them, spackled with stars. They couldn’t hear what they said, but now and then, Esme burst into giggles that reminded Bethany of her own childhood.

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