Page 33 of Trick of Light

Bethany sat down and touched Rod’s hand gently. “I’m so glad you reached out.”

Rod shook his head. “I’m so glad you came!”

Renee burst into tears and pressed her hands over her mouth. Her eyes bulged. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought I could keep it together, but I can’t.” She flew to her feet and wrapped her arms around Bethany as she shook. “I’m so happy to meet you! I’m so happy you’re here!”

Bethany laughed nervously, eyeing Rod. “Felix is going to be okay,” she assured her. “It’s all going to be okay.”

Renee sniffled and stepped back, her hand still on Bethany’s shoulder. “I mean, come on,” she said, smiling through tears, “you’re the perfect person to do this. To help us. You were almost my mom, you know?” She laughed.

Although she maintained a smile, Bethany’s face stiffened ever so slightly. Rod’s heart sank. Why had Renee said that? Why had she dragged them back into the shadows of the past?

“I’ve been through many, many surgeries like this,” Bethany explained instead of answering. “There is a good rate of success.” She reached for her coffee, sipped, and smiled nervously at Rod, unable to look him in the eye anymore. “I hate to run off, but I told my sister I’d do the grocery shopping today. Our kids are all living under one roof, and it’s like we can’t keep the fridge stocked.”

“How many of them are boys?” Renee asked.

“Two boys, four girls,” Bethany said. “But the girls eat just as much as the boys. Maybe more.” She laughed and stood.

Rod followed her to the door. He ached to hug her but held himself back.

“I’ll be in touch,” Bethany assured him, squeezing his elbow. “It’s going to be all right.”

Just as soon as Bethany disappeared around the corner in her little blue car, Renee whispered, “I’m so sorry I said that!” Her cheeks were pale, and she’d wrinkled a notepad beyond recognition at the kitchen table. “‘You were almost my mom?’ What was I thinking!”

Rod ached with sorrow. He wished she hadn’t said that, too. But what could be done?

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, sitting beside her.

“It’s just that I've been so curious ever since you told me about her. You told me she was so smart, beautiful, and courageous. And even as a late teenager, I imagined she’d come into our lives and be my new mom and…” Renee shook her head and smiled. “I just got carried away.”

“It’s okay,” Rod assured her. “I don’t think she took offense to it at all.”

That was a lie, of course. He’d seen right through Bethany, all the way to the core of her emotions. Despite births and marriages, career changes, and so many seasons of life, they were still the same people they'd always been. People were consistent like that, he thought. He wondered if she’d felt the same about him.

“I cannot wait to get down to Savannah,” Renee breathed. “I cannot wait to have this chapter of our lives behind us. Felix is going to be the happiest, healthiest little boy in his kindergarten. Mark my words.” She folded her hands across the table and stared ahead as though she were focusing on the future as hard as she could.

Rod prayed, beyond anything, that she was right. That Bethany was up to the task of changing his life all over again.

But that night, as Rod lay in the darkness of his bedroom, his mind’s eye echoed with images of Bethany from that afternoon. He’d seen the devastation across her face when Renee said, “Almost my mom.” And he’d remembered his and Bethany’s hundreds, if not thousands, of conversations about their future. They dreamed of having three children, teaching them to sail, and celebrating Christmas, Easter, and Fourth of July together. Rod had promised not to be the sort of father Victor Sutton had been. He’d promised to stick around. “That’s what fathers are supposed to do,” he’d told her simply. Bethany had wholly believed in him.

Rod’s heart was heavy with guilt from the past. He couldn’t believe Bethany had returned to him and was willing to help him. After all he’d done, he definitely didn’t deserve it.

Chapter Fifteen

Bethany returned to Esme’s place shell-shocked. She sat in the driver’s seat of her car with her hands gripping the steering wheel, staring straight ahead for five, then ten, then fifteen minutes, her head thrumming. It was only when Rebecca swept past the front door and noticed her that Bethany forced herself to step out of the car. She nearly collapsed on the driveway.

“You’re back!” Rebecca hurried to wrap her arms around her and guide her inside. “And you’re shaking! My goodness, Bethy. What happened?”

Bethany hadn’t told anyone where she was going. As she’d explained to Rod, she’d been driving around, thinking hard about him, about their past, about his text message, and then found herself drifting down his road. By the time she’d cut the engine in the driveway, she’d been filled with so much adrenaline that she hadn’t been able to turn back. And when she’d knocked on the door, she’d known she was on a path that could lead her to yet another heartbreak.

Esme burst from the kitchen, drying a large platter and frowning. “What’s up, Bethany?” She dropped the plate on the couch and joined them in the foyer, where she hugged Bethany tightly and swept her hand over her hair. From upstairs came the sound of Bethany and Rebecca’s six children, who’d spent much of the day at the beach and returned home to shower and get ready for dinner. Bethany’s heart warmed, imagining little Phoebe’s sea-bleached hair.

“I went to Rod’s,” Bethany said finally, her voice low.

“You went to Rod’s!” Esme repeated.

“It’s so much worse than I thought,” Bethany muttered, unable to meet her mother’s gaze.

Rebecca laced her arm through Bethany’s and half dragged her to the back porch, where she poured her a glass of iced tea and handed her a peanut butter oatmeal cookie. Bethany laughed through tears.

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