Page 41 of Under Ground

“I want more, Lana. I want it all with you.”

I swallow hard. “We should go and sort out this toast.”

“Lana,” he says, grasping my hand. “I think I’m falling in love with you.”

My heart thuds. I was sure that there was no future in this. How could there be? When his movie’s over, he’ll leave the country again and all that’ll be left is the memory of the nights we spent together.

Not this.

I never thought it would go this far.

“I’m sure you think that, but—”

“I know how I feel. I don’t want us to just be a short-term thing.”

My lips tremble as I rack my brain to think of what to say. “Can we talk about this later?”

He nods. “I know Casey’s waiting. And I know it’s a lot to deal with at five in the morning. I just wanted you to know how I feel.”

I rub the back of my neck, still unsure what to say. I’ve fought my deeper feelings for him, but it seems he feels the same way. But I can’t focus on that right now.

“Mummy. Daddy,” Casey yells from the living room.

“Let’s go.” He smiles, and warmth spreads through my chest. I want this. I want to wake up in the mornings next to him and be there on his journey. I’m not sure how I can do that from New Zealand, but I want more too.

Maybe this doesn’t have to end.

I’m out of bed first, slipping on a T-shirt and grabbing my bathrobe on the way out the door.

Casey’s standing in front of the television, eyes glued to it. This is such a bad idea, but I don’t even care this morning.

After placing some slices of bread in the toaster, I put the kettle on. There’s no point making Casey breakfast and going back to bed. I might as well make coffee and be thankful yet again that it’s Friday.

After a couple of minutes the toast pops up, and I scrape some butter and Marmite onto it before taking it out to Casey.

Alex emerges from the hallway, smelling of my vanilla bodywash. He scratches his neck as he walks out.

“Daddy, I got toast,” Casey says.

“So you do.” Alex reaches me and pecks me on the cheek. “I’ll grab some breakfast on set. I’ll let you know later what time I’ll come over.”

“It’s a deal.” I kiss his lips. “Maybe then you can finish what you started half an hour ago.”

His grin is way too cheerful for this time of the day. “Now that’s a deal.”

He ruffles Casey’s hair on the way out and then disappears into the early morning. This feels so normal, it’s difficult to believe. He’s off to work while we start our day.

“Daddy go to work?” Casey asks.

I’m distracted as I watch the door Alex went through.

He said he’s falling in love with me.

I’m falling in love with him too.

* * *

It’s the longest day ever as I mull over what Alex said this morning.

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