Page 69 of Safe With You

It lingered throughout the service and during lunch, though she doubted anyone else would have been able to tell. They all gathered at the edge of the lake after eating. Ethan spent a lot of time playing with the kids, which wasn’t unusual, but she had a sinking feeling he did it to avoid her. Maybe she was just paranoid and overthinking it, but even Becca was quieter than usual. Had she and Ethan spoken about things last night? Was she unhappy that Katie felt things for her brother she’d never expected to feel?

When Katie returned home that evening, the tension she’d carried around all day had given her a headache. A headache that persisted into Monday morning. Sitting on the edge of her bed, all she wanted to do was crawl back under the covers and cry.

Her phone chimed, and she groaned as she read Drew’s good morning text. She was a terrible person. She hadn’t meant to develop feelings for Ethan, but that wouldn’t keep Drew from being hurt. How could one evening have messed everything up so badly? It was hard to see the situation resolving without her losing one of them, if not both. A tear rolled down her cheek as she texted Drew as if everything was normal, feeling like a traitor.

She then looked at O’Malley, who was watching her from the foot of the bed. “I don’t know what to do.”

The cat pushed to his feet, stretched, and walked over to her, bumping his head into her arm.

“Thanks, buddy.” She sniffed, a couple more tears falling, before she forced herself to get up.

As usual, she took her Bible and coffee to the porch, hoping to find comfort and direction. Mostly, she found herself replaying the moments after the dance and the awkwardness yesterday as she had done so many times already. Every time she tried to refocus on the pages of her Bible, her mind would wander again.

The uncertainty of how things would play out ate at her. She hadn’t meant to make everything so complicated. The one thing she knew was that she couldn’t lose Ethan or her relationship with the Harts. Not after losing Grandma. She’d do whatever it took to eradicate her feelings; she just needed her best friend back.

Faintly, she caught the echo of a table saw. Such noises had become the norm over the last few weeks, typically bringing her happiness to think of Ethan working so close by. Today, it caused her chest to ache but also prompted her to take action.

She closed her Bible and left the porch, though she’d barely read an entire chapter. Her heart thudded against her ribs as she followed the path to the Harts’. She wasn’t sure what her plan was; she just knew she needed to do something.

The sounds of woodworking drew her to the shop, where Ethan had the overhead door open. She stepped tentatively inside and found him standing at a workbench. A little sawdust had collected on his jeans and worn gray t-shirt. Why had her rebellious heart decided to desire more than friendship and risk everything?

She cleared her throat, and his gaze darted up, registering surprise. Then his brows sunk in a frown. “Katie, is everything all right?”

She nodded quickly. “Yes, everything is fine.”Liar.

She stepped farther into the shop, her stomach a bundle of nerves. She drew a deep breath to try to settle it. “I was just reading…and thinking. I heard you working and thought I’d walk over here quick.” She cleared her throat, despising the awkwardness. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be with him. “I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me since Grandma died. I don’t know if I could have done it without you. You’re my best friend, Ethan. Your friendship has gotten me through the worst times of my life and means so much to me. I hope that never changes.”

She held her breath but found his expression impossible to read. A heartbeat of silence echoed in her ears before he spoke.

“It won’t, I promise. You’re my best friend too. I’ll always be here for you when you need me.”

The conviction in his voice encouraged her, though only time would tell if the distance between them had healed. She forced a smile, her stomach refusing to unwind. After all, she still had work to do on her feelings.

“I guess I better go back and get to work on something. I just needed to clear my head.”

He flashed her a quick smile and nod, and she turned to walk out of the shop.

So that was that then. Ethan braced himself against his workbench and released a long sigh. He’d already known what the outcome would be, so why did he feel like someone had stabbed him in the chest? For having received no physical injury, the pain was shockingly real. He dragged in a breath despite how it hurt. He shouldn’t be reacting so strongly. This was exactly how he knew it would always be. But, despite his own admonitions against it, he’d foolishly let the smallest seed of hope take root. Now, it had been ripped out.

Footsteps approached, and his heart lurched. He scrambled to school his expression. He couldn’t let Katie see how disappointed he was. But Becca entered instead, dressed for work.

She scanned the shop. “Hey, I thought Katie was here. I was going to say hi on my way out.”

“She just left.” He swallowed hard against the lingering pain. “She just wanted to tell me how much my friendship means to her and how she doesn’t want it to change.”

Her brows lifted in shock before dipping. “Oh.”

He gave her a pained smile. “Yeah.”

“Ethan, I’m sorry…”

He shook his head. She shouldn’t feel sorry. He’d brought this on himself. “No, this is good. Maybe I can finally move on. I’ll love her as my friend, and that’s all.” That he’d even let himself feel as deeply as he had at the wedding had already gone against everything he knew was wise. Katie was still with Drew, and he should never have let himself contemplate something other than friendship between them. Should never have put himself in the position to hope.

Becca gave him a sad look that only made him feel worse. “I wish there was a way you could protect your friendship and still be honest because I feel there are things on your part that will always be left unsaid.”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter. If she’s happy, I’m happy.” He could be happy with a broken heart, right? This kind of thing happened all the time. Just look what he’d done to Anna. Now, it was his turn to face rejection.

He worked right through lunch. Only when it was time he usually went to work on Katie’s shelves did he pause. He grabbed his phone, agonizing for a long moment. What should he even say? As hard as he’d been fighting them all day, the emotions were still too raw. He needed to get a better handle on them before they could casually hang out again. Finally, he typed a quick text that he had a project he needed to finish and couldn’t work on the shelves today.

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