Page 70 of Safe With You

A few seconds later, the indication popped up that she was texting back. His stomach twisted. Three words appeared on his screen.

Okay. That’s fine.

He stared at the words, trying to decipher what tone they might convey. Of course, this was impossible, so he laid his phone aside and threw himself back into work. At the rate he was going, he really would finish the cabinet he’d started this morning.

Some hours later, his stomach growled, letting him know evening had drawn in. He ignored it at first, but then his phone dinged again, this time from Mom.

Are you coming in when you’re done? I’m making lasagna.

Ethan winced. He wasn’t in the mood for a family supper tonight. Mom would take one look at him and know something was wrong no matter how good an act he put on. He deeply loved her concern and care, but no one could fix this. Only time would help, and tonight, he’d rather deal with it alone.

He texted that he was tired and would call it an early night. Leaving the rest of his work for tomorrow, he turned off all the lights in the shop, closed the doors, and trudged toward the cabin. His thoughts wandered aimlessly along the way. He tried to pray but wasn’t sure what to even pray for.

Inside, he cleaned up and put a frozen pizza in the oven. It tasted even more like cardboard than usual, considering he could have eaten Mom’s lasagna and garlic bread. No amount of powdered Parmesan could improve the taste. Two slices in, he threw the rest into a container and into the fridge, where it would probably mold, before sinking down in front of the TV. He flipped through the channels, never satisfied with one for long. Eventually, it just got frustrating, and he shut it off.

Sitting in the quiet cabin, he looked around. His gaze settled on the guitar his parents had bought him for Christmas after he’d finally learned to play. He pushed to his feet, grabbed it, and walked outside, where he sat on the porch swing. Sighing, he strummed the strings, the motions soothing and about as good a therapy as anything.

He played through various songs he’d learned over the years, the sound mingling with the chirp of frogs from the lake’s edge. Usually, this was his favorite type of evening. If things were different, he would have enjoyed playing for his parents, Becca, and Katie around the fire or down on the dock. He just wanted to get back to that, somehow.

After he’d been playing a while, movement caught his eye. He paused as Becca approached the porch, Rosie trailing behind her. He should have expected her company tonight.

She climbed the steps. “Is it all right if I interrupt your moping?”

He made a face. “I’m not moping.”

“You are moping.”

“I’m reflecting. Moping implies I’m a child who didn’t get the candy bar he wanted.” It wasn’t a mental picture that made him feel any better.

She walked to the swing, and Ethan shifted his guitar to make room for her to sit. Rosie plopped down at their feet with a sigh.

“Well, I’d be moping if I were you. Actually, I’d probably be halfway through a pint of cookie dough ice cream and a box of tissues by now.”

Ethan’s stomach reacted hungrily, barely satisfied by the cardboard pizza. “The Ice Shack does sound good.”

He plucked a melancholy tune as they both sat silent for a long moment. Finally, he felt Becca’s gaze on him.

“Are you sure she meant she just wanted to be friends?”

He sighed, reliving the conversation for the thousandth time. “She stressed how much our friendship meant to her and that she never wanted it to change. I’m not sure how else to take that.”

Becca looked nearly as bummed as he was. He drew a deep breath, trying to be more optimistic. “I just need a couple of days to get over it. I’ll be fine.”

Easier said than done. Katie was the only woman he’d ever loved, and that love had only grown deeper over the last weeks. It would take longer than a couple of days for it to fade.

“Maybe I’m just meant to be alone.”

Becca tipped her head. “If that’s the case, then me even more so.”

“That’s not true.” She’d gone through a horrible experience and suffered greatly, but Ethan had no doubt she could still find love.

She gave him a pointed look. “Then it isn’t for you either.”

He wasn’t so sure. His situation was entirely different. “If I haven’t been able to get over my feelings for her in the last fifteen years, then I don’t know what another fifteen or fifty is going to do. And if I can’t move on, then there’s no way I can fully devote myself to anyone else. It’s exactly why I had to break things off with Anna. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone else.”

She didn’t seem to know what to say, and silence fell again. He watched her for a moment as different thoughts played across her face. The tension between him and Katie had preoccupied him yesterday, but he had noticed Becca seemed bothered.

“What’s wrong?”