Page 75 of Back to You

“Is that true?”

Brandon deflated. “Yeah.”

“Aw, Brandon.”

“I had to do it. I was miserable, and I couldn’t keep letting it go. But … I still want him, Michelle. I don’t know if I can ever turn that off.”

“I don’t know if you should ever turn that off,” she said. “I just don’t think you two are done with each other.”

Later, as he fed Barnabus and parked himself on the couch, Brandon though back over Michelle’s words.

Were he and Ethan really done?

Brandon thought about that throughout the movie he halfway watched, while he was brushing his teeth, and while he laid awake in his bed.

Were they done? Brandon really hoped not.

CHAPTER 17

ETHAN PETTED CHAUNCEY’S golden head and relaxed in his chair. Two months into his sessions with Sarah, and he was seeing some real progress. He was now up to four days a week leaving work at a normal hour. He was close to being ready to start taking one weekend day off, as well. His fears of losing his job were diminishing, as time went by and no one said anything about his change in schedule. But the fear wasn’t gone entirely.

He’d put back on more weight, and was now sleeping well again. Nia had been thrilled to note that his suits fit him once again. He’d started getting up early to go for a jog every day, per Sarah’s suggestion. And he was learning to play guitar. It was slow going, but his teacher said he was getting the hang of it.

“Today I want us to talk about Brandon,” Sarah said.

“What about him?”

“Have you ever thought that maybe your relationship was a bit codependent?”

“Someone told Brandon that we were codependent after we broke up. I can see how I was, to be sure. I felt like my life ended after he left, and I don’t think that was the healthiest reaction.”

Sarah smiled. “That’s good, I’m glad you said that.”

“I still love him, though.”

“And that’s normal,” Sarah said. “You two seem to have a very special bond.”

“Yeah,” he said sadly. Chauncey lifted a paw and placed it on Ethan’s knee. “Thanks buddy.”

“Have you ever considered reconciliation?”

“At least fifteen times a day.”

“Why haven’t you pursued it?”

Ethan frowned thoughtfully for a moment. “I guess a few reasons. The big one is that I’m not at a good work-life balance yet, and it defeats the purpose to try to get back together with him when our biggest issue hasn’t been resolved.”

“That makes sense.”

“Also, I’m still not where I want to be mentally to support a relationship. I think I still have work to do on myself before I can be what he needs me to be.”

“Did you start coming here for him?”

Did he? A few weeks ago, Ethan might have said yes. But he knew it wasn’t true.

“I think I started coming for myself. I need to be better for me, not anyone else. I realize that now, when I probably wouldn’t have two months ago.”

Sarah beamed at him. “You’re doing so well, Ethan. I’m very pleased with our progress.”