Page 64 of Back to You

“Maybe I need to be the one to tell him it wasn’t a date. Maybe we need to talk.”

“Talking might be good, as long as you hear each other.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I always kind of wondered if you two were actually listening to each other with these fights. It was like you took in the information the other person was relaying, but you weren’t really processing it. If that makes any sense.”

Brandon shrugged. “You could be right, you could be wrong. I honestly have no way of knowing anymore. I guess it doesn’t really matter.”

“It matters if you’re going to talk to him. Please, don’t go if you aren’t ready to listen. I think he’s ready to do the same.”

“I don’t want to hurt him, Lake, I promise. I’ll go talk to him after work, maybe we can do a little healing.”

“I think you could both use a little healing. Okay. Will you tell him to text me when you’re done?”

“Will do.”

Lake headed for the door. “I’m getting my usual. You two wear me out.”

Brandon waved him off. “Tell Marcus to give you a muffin! You better eat it!”

As he went back to his kneading, Brandon thought through how best to talk to Ethan. He worked out several possible ways of starting the conversation, and practiced them through closing and the drive to Ethan’s office.

But once he got there and was looking through the window at Ethan, all of that flew right out of his head.

Jesus, look at him. He looked like a shadow of who he’d been. He’s lost so much weight, Brandon thought. His suit was hanging off of him, and his cheeks were sunken. There were deep purple circles under his eyes, and his unkempt hair had lost some of its luster. He was pale, as though he hadn’t seen the sun in months. That was probably true.

I did this, thought Brandon. I did this to him.

He pushed open the door, which was already open a crack, and stood in the doorway. Ethan seemed absorbed in the file he was reading and didn’t notice Brandon standing there. All the careful preparation Brandon had done was gone as he blurted out the first thought in his head.

“It wasn’t a date.”

Ethan’s head shot up, his eyes huge. “Brandon,” he choked, shooting to his feet.

***

Ethan couldn’t believe his eyes. Was Brandon actually here? Had his mind finally snapped? If that was the case, Ethan didn’t want to fix it.

“Brandon,” he said again, unable to think of anything else to say.

“Yeah. It’s me. I’m here,” Brandon said, as though reading his mind.

“What…? What are you doing here?” Ethan said falteringly.

“I talked to Lake. He said you saw me out last night. I wanted you to know that it wasn’t a date.”

A weight fell off Ethan’s soul. “It wasn’t?”

“No, I wouldn’t do that. It’s too soon. It’ll probably always be too soon, but hey.” Brandon stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans and stepped further into the office.

“Lake is worried about you,” he said.

Ethan shook his head. He loved his best friend so much. “I know he is. He’s been such a rock through all this.”

“I’m worried about you too, Ethan. You don’t look too good.”

“Gee, thanks.”

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