Page 22 of Back to You

Ethan’s gaze dropped to his plate. He was definitely no longer hungry. “I need the job security.”

“Bullshit. You don’t have any more job security as a senior associate than you do as a junior.”

“I do. It’s partner track, it’s how I know I can go further at the firm.”

“Tell me why. Why is this more important than me?” He dropped his gaze and said quietly, “I need to know, Ethan.”

“It isn’t,” he swore. “Nothing is more important than you.”

“You’re doing a lousy job of showing it.”

Ethan flinched. “I know. I know, okay? And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. But please, Brandon. I need this.”

“And I need to know why!” Brandon roared.

“Because I need to prove I’m not like them!”

Brandon stared in astonishment. “Your parents? This is because of your parents? Jesus, Ethan …”

“You know what I come from,” Ethan said clinically. “I refuse to let myself become them. I need to do this, for myself.”

“Ethan … you’ve already done that.” Brandon reached out and cupped his cheek. “Baby, you put yourself through college and law school. You passed the bar on the first try. You got a job at one of the top law firms in the state. Haven’t you done enough?”

“I swear to you, I will cut back once I make senior associate. I swear, Brandon. But please, can’t you understand?”

“I understand where you’re coming from, I just don’t see the logic in it,” Brandon admitted. “But I believe you when you say you do.”

“Thank you.”

“But. This is not sustainable long term, Ethan. And I don’t know how long I can do this.”

“Please just don’t give up on me,” Ethan begged. “You are the most important thing in my world. None of this means a damn without you. I know I’m asking a lot, but please. I need this.”

Brandon regarded him quietly for a few moments. “I wish you could see that there’s another way,” he said. “You don’t have to kill yourself to do worthy work. You don’t have to kill us for it.”

“If I get the hard work done now, I can cut back later. There will be time for us, I just need you to be patient with me.”

“I’ve been patient with you, Ethan. And I will keep doing so. But think about what you’re doing, if it’s really worth what you’re losing. Time with me, with our family. Time for yourself, for fuck’s sake. When was the last time you did anything for yourself?”

Who knew? Ethan couldn’t remember.

“Is it worth all the dinners you miss? Is it worth all the weekends we could be spending together? Is it worth missing out on what Lake is up to, or seeing our niece and nephew grow up? You missed Riley’s recital last month, she was so upset. Is it worth all that?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how many times I can say it.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry, Ethan. I want you to be here.” Brandon stood up and left the table, shutting the bedroom door behind him.

Ethan ground his hands against his eyes, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall.

“It’ll be worth it in the end,” he whispered. But he was a little less sure of it this time.

CHAPTER 6

“THANKS FOR COMING with me,” Brandon said.

“No problem. I know how you get when you go shopping,” Michelle said.

“Yeah. Wait, no, how do I get?”

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