Page 110 of Lie For Me

‘So,’ Cassie pressed as Lucy wiped at her red nose. ‘What are you going to do?’

36

Lucy drove past Jack’s house for a second time. His car definitely wasn’t there, and there were no lights on or other signs of life. Perhaps she was too late—he had already left for New York.

She slowed and parked on the road.

Who had sucked all the oxygen out of the car? She rolled the windows down and took some deep breaths.

After work, she had gone home and sat and looked through all the wedding pictures. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from them. Couldn’t stop looking at the expression on Jack’s face in the photo where she was laughing, or at the tenderness evident in the photo of the kiss. That kiss. Of all the things that had happened that weekend, there was no easy way to explain that one away.

A decision was made—she needed to know if there was anything between them to hold on to before he left for New York. Lucy knew she needed to move quickly, before she could talk herself back out of it. She had showered, washed her hair, and pulled on a simple blue slip dress. She twisted her hair into a loose bun and dabbed some perfume behind her ears. Coaching herself in the bathroom mirror, she glared at herself.

Don’t be a wimp. You can do this. Pull yourself together.

Now, her earlier gumption deserting her, she sat in the car outside Jack’s empty house and gulped lungfuls of warm summer evening air. A woman with a wheezing pug dog walked past and gave side-eye to the sweaty woman in the car in the blue dress.

A lump grew in her throat as she realised she had waited too long. Two whole weeks had passed as she prevaricated and hoped he would be the one to reach out. Two weeks of wondering how he was feeling instead of simply asking him. Two weeks of trying to buck up the courage to say something—anything—about what she was feeling. Days of picking up the phone and typing out messages then deleting them, unsent.

The woman with the pug was walking slowly back past her. Lucy could see the woman mentally taking notes and imagined she’d be on the agenda at the next neighbourhood watch meeting. Suspicious looking woman snivels in a car. Be on the lookout.

Lucy gazed at Jack’s house, dark and quiet. Maybe she was too late. Perhaps he had already left for New York. Her mind cast back to all the times spent at Jack’s. To the board game night where her team won in a dead heat final round of Articulate, to a BBQ last summer when Jack (after several drinks) had suggested they dig Twister out from where it had been shoved in the back of the cupboard. Aislinn ended up with a sprained wrist and a trip to A&E. She remembered the night last Christmas when Jack had been poorly and she had gone round with mince pies and ice-cream and they’d watched National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation and Jack had fallen asleep half an hour in.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she scrambled to drag it out, fingers fumbling in haste. Flipping open the cover, she saw that it wasn’t a message from Jack, but a reminder to send a birthday card for Peter. Lucy slumped lower into the car seat and felt tears start to fall.

Then she looked again at the time on her phone screen. Seven o’clock. It wouldn’t be that unusual for Jack to still be at work at this time, especially if there was a lot going on, like, oh, I don’t know, selling the company, for example. Maybe he hadn’t left yet. Maybe she’d just gone looking for him in the wrong place.

She turned the engine on again, then switched it off. Him not being at home, the first place she had looked was a sign—a sign that this was a bad idea. No good could come of this. If he wanted there to be anything between them, he wouldn’t have left the wedding early. He’d have been in touch sometime in the past couple of weeks.

No—she switched the engine on again. She had to do this. She had to say what she felt, even if he didn’t reciprocate. If they were ever to have a chance of being friends again, they had to clear the air. Then, they could move on and laugh about it one day. Or she’d have to move to the other side of the country and change her name by deed poll. Either-or, really.

Wiping her face and hoping there was some mascara left on her eyes and not just smeared down her cheeks, Lucy pointed the car towards town and the offices of BrandFriendsSocial.

The car park of the office building was quiet, and Lucy spotted Jack’s car immediately. Her heart leapt—at least he hadn’t left for New York just yet.

Infused with a surge of nerves about what she was about to do, and gripping the steering wheel like a nervous learner driver, Lucy parked haphazardly half in and half out of a space. She shoved the car door open and pulled herself out on unsteady legs. She dragged in a lungful of air and slammed the car door with more strength than she felt.

The first step towards the office building triggered an explosion of thoughts.

He might be in a meeting. His colleagues will be there, and they’ll all know and be laughing behind your back. He’ll see you coming and hide. There’s another woman there, clad in scanty underwear for some secret tryst. He’ll ask you to leave. You’ll be sick as soon as he opens the door. He’ll look at you with pity and say he doesn’t feel the same, sorry, and then you’ll have to change your identity. He’ll truly think you’re joking and laugh.

Really, he would say, you thought there was something between us? You asked me to lie for you, and you wonder why you’re confused? Silly Lucy.

She took a deep breath.

Her legs felt like they didn’t belong to her as they carried her across the car park towards the main door. As she approached the entrance, a woman was leaving and held the door open for her, saving Lucy the need to call up to be let in. BrandFriendsSocial’s offices were on the second floor, and the lift was out of order. Lucy puffed as she climbed the stairs, her nervous, rapid breath making hard work of the short ascent.

Arriving on the second-floor landing, her hands shook, and she clasped them together to steady them. The accountant’s offices across the corridor were in darkness, but there were faint lights still on in Jack’s offices.

She drew a deep breath, wiped a finger under her eyes and pressed the buzzer before she could talk herself out of it. She decided it was best if he wasn’t available after all. Maybe he was on a conference call and wouldn’t come to the door. Or was in a meeting and didn’t hear the bell. Or didn’t make it to the door in time. She waited only a few seconds before she turned and started back towards the staircase.

Then she heard the door open and Jack’s voice.

‘Lucy.’

He didn’t say it with surprise or as a greeting—he just said her name.

She turned and looked at him. He looked tired, a shadow of stubble around his jaw. Her heart felt like it was trying to smash its way out of her chest. She swallowed with difficulty. Her mouth felt like sawdust.

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