Page 111 of Lie For Me

‘Hi,’ she said. Looking at him now all conviction deserted her, and she decided that this was, in fact, a terrible idea. ‘Sorry to disturb. I’m sure you’re very busy, I can—’

‘No, no,’ Jack said, stepping back and gesturing for her to come in. ‘It’s fine.’

Lucy hesitated, teetering on the threshold between utter honesty and running to the car and squashing her feelings way down deep for the rest of time. She took a step towards Jack and followed him into the offices.

She had visited him at work several times and always admired what a hive of activity it was; huge planners on the walls, staff chattering away in excited meetings about strategies for a new client, or how to dig an existing client out of a public relations hole they had got themselves into. The place now was quiet, computer monitors dark and phones silent. A dishwasher hummed in the kitchen as they passed. Lucy trailed down the corridor after Jack, unable to feel her legs as they carried her forward and into Jack’s office. Jack paused beside his desk, and Lucy stopped in the middle of the room, unsure where to stand. Jack was watching her, waiting.

She tried to swallow again, but her mouth was sticking together. She flushed.

‘So sorry, but could I have a glass of water, please?’

Why did I not bring water with me?

Jack looked confused but disappeared towards the kitchen. She glanced around the office while he was gone, looking for signs of packing, but Jack’s neat, streamlined office gave nothing away. He reappeared moments later with a glass dripping with water. Lucy took it carefully, worried her trembling hands might not manage simple tasks like holding things at the moment. His fingers brushed hers as he passed it to her, and she shivered slightly. She gulped the water, splashes falling onto her blue dress.

Jack watched her closely.

She took a breath.

‘I’m glad you’re here,’ she said, with false brightness, trying to remember her carefully planned speech.

Looking at him now, his dark eyes, faint shadows underneath them, fixed on her, his hair tousled, she lost her train of thought, and the plan seemed, once again, like an awful one. Damn her mother, Cassie and Dot in her absence! She clutched the glass, took a shaky breath, and started again.

Her voice was low but steady.

‘I know things have been strange between us,’ she began, ‘and I appreciate that you have a lot going on in your life. But I am in your life too.’ Her voice cracked. ‘Or I was. And I am finding it hard because…we used to talk all the time and now....’ she gestured feebly. ‘Look at us.’

‘Lucy,’ Jack began.

‘Please, let me get this out. If I don’t say it now, I never will.’

Jack was quiet, his expression inscrutable.

‘What happened between us on that weekend...’

She felt her cheeks flame, and she took another sip of water.

Jack looked like he wanted to cut in again, so she barrelled on.

‘It meant something to me. A lot, actually.’

Jack closed his eyes for a moment and pressed his lips together. She wanted to drop the glass, turn and run, but she kept going. He was embarrassed. He didn’t want her to put either of them through this awkwardness. She felt fourteen years old, trying to tell a boy she liked him for the first time.

‘And I didn’t mean for that to happen, and I’m sure it’s not what we expected or wanted, and I know you’re going to New York, but I thought that you should have all the facts. We’re not really speaking, anyway,’ she shrugged, tears forming in her eyes, ‘but I want to be honest.’ She gave a wry smile. ‘For once. Just wait until I’m gone before you start laughing at—’

There was a sudden noise from the outer office. Lucy paused, her words hanging in the air between them. Then there was a rap at the door before it opened, and Douglas, Jack’s head of finance, stuck his head in.

‘Ah, I thought you might still be here.’ He grinned at Jack. ‘I’ve finalised the figures from the last financial year, and I know you need them—’

He spotted Lucy and broke off.

Lucy was holding on to the water glass for dear life, pressing it to her chest and screaming in her head.

Deep breaths! Deep breaths!

‘Oh, hi, Lucy,’ Douglas said. ‘Nice to see you.’

‘You too,’ Lucy squeaked out.

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