Page 16 of Courageous Devotions

“I’m not doing this before coffee.”

“After you have a cup, then we’ll talk?”

“There’s nothing to discuss.”

“There’s everything to discuss, Eris… we have a child. A child that I missed out on three years of his life. You told me you weren’t pregnant – remember?”

“You didn’t want to get married or have children – remember?” she retorted in a hot whisper, not holding back. “Or did you forget? Here, let me refresh your memory.”

And yanked up the sheets pointedly, glaring downward at her legs.

“Oh no,” she mocked angrily, slapping both hands against her cheeks and staring at him with wide-eyed theatrical horror. “The condom broke, and I don’t want to marry you or have kids – so get out.”

“That’s not how it went!” he hissed, sitting up and getting out of the bed.

“Are you doing the walk of shame now – because I sure know what that feels like,” she continued whispering at his back… only to have Colton walk to her side and yank her up bodily from the mattress. “What are you doing?”

“I’m not waking up my son,” he growled, walking out of the bedroom and carrying her into the other bedroom, shutting the door.

“No!” she hissed, looking at him. “He’s going to wake up in a strange place and be looking for me.”

“See – that’s the thing!” Colton snapped hotly, looking at her. “If you’d have given me a freakin’ chance, this would be his home. I could have been his father this whole time, and you stole that from me.”

“You didn’t want a baby!”

“Yet! I didn’t want a baby yet, but we made one.”

“Wrong. I did.”

“No. I’m pretty sure it takes two to make a child,” he chuckled angrily, folding his arms over his chest and looking at her.

“Quit laughing at me,” she retorted, shoving at his shoulder. “It’s not funny, and if I had anywhere else to go – I would have.”

“I know,” he said quietly, causing her to pause. They looked at each other, and she saw the pain in his eyes right before he looked away. “I’m glad you showed up here because you never have to do any of this alone.”

Eris felt tears sting her eyes as she turned away from him, needing to cling to those feelings that got her through some of the toughest moments of her life. Her mother’s funeral, delivering Zane alone, all those sleepless nights… she needed to hang onto it. Bitterness, frustration, and anger would help her get through this next phase as she picked herself up from rock bottom once again.

She felt a hand touch her shoulder.

“Eris, things don’t have to be this hard between us,” he said quietly. “Zane deserves to know his father… and I want to know my son. I have plenty of room here, and you are welcome to stay as long as you want.”

“I just need a day or two…”

“Stay… please.”

She turned to look at him, not holding back or bothering to hide the hurt and betrayal simmering beneath the surface. They stood there, staring at each other in the silence and as she opened her mouth to say ‘no’ – Colton arched his head and immediately walked away, yanking open the doorway… returning a second later with Zane rubbing his eyes.

“Hey, little man,” he crooned gently, unconsciously using the same nickname she’d always called him. The moment Zane spotted her, he dove for her arms, and she saw the hurt on Colton’s face right before he masked it. He was a stranger to Zane – and they both knew it.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me before, but I’m here now.”

“I need to think,” she whispered, confused… and saw him nod.

“How about some pancakes – and we can finish off the raspberries,” Colton began, touching Zane’s cheek… only to have her son’s sleep hand push him away like he was bothering him. Colton straightened up, his face tense and his eyes full of pain.

“I’m going to go start it, and you are welcome to join me,” he said quietly. “There’s a multipack of toothbrushes in the bathroom drawer, towels are under the sink, and you are welcome to anything in my closet or dresser. I’ll move your things to the dryer in two seconds so he can wear something that fits him today.”

“I need to get Zane’s diapers out of the car. Do you have my keys?”

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