Page 130 of Ask Me Something

I shook my head, wanting to be left alone. I couldn’t have him, of all people, see me like this. Climbing off the bed quickly, I bolted for the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach.

Brian’s hands held my hair back gently. After I was done, he offered me a cool wash cloth.

My head was pounding, but my breathing had started to level out. It was amazing how slowly time crawled when you wished it to go quickly, but I’d learned there was no rushing an attack, else you brought on a second one.

Brian’s eyes looked concerned. “How about I drive you to the hospital?”

“No—I need to go lie—” Breathe. “—down at the hotel.”

“Okay, I’ll take you.”

“No.” I met his eyes, and that word hung between us. “I can’t.” The tears were starting to come now. If I didn’t get out of here soon I’d be a complete hysterical mess and Brian would want to comfort me. If that happened, God only knew what else I’d reveal.

“Sasha, please—” His handsome face looked absolutely devastated.

But there was nothing I could do to soothe him or tell him it would be okay right now. I had to concentrate on myself for the moment. I walked out to the bedroom, unsteady on my feet, to see both Colby and Mark looking for direction. “I need a taxi.”

Both of them glanced toward Brian.

“Why don’t you lie down here for a few minutes?” Mark suggested.

I shook my head, feeling the panic start up again. “Please—I need—to go.”

Brian put his arm around me, but I stepped back, not wanting his touch.

“You’re making it worse—please—” The shame had started to settle in and I couldn’t meet his eyes. I was no longer the Sasha he thought he knew. Instead I’d humiliated him in front of his friends and family, not to mention myself. Yes, his betrayal had been the catalyst, but a normal person could have stormed off or cursed him out. My over-reaction highlighted my inability to deal with anything challenging.

“I can drive her,” Colby offered.

“No, you’ve been drinking. I’ll take her,” Mark stepped in. “Colby, you get the car brought around. Here’s my tag for the valet.”

I didn’t know the man very well, but at that moment I was eternally grateful.

Brian’s mouth fell into a hard line and both men moved to the corner of the room to have a heated debate. Finally, Mark prevailed and took my arm to lead me out.

Thank goodness Colby had the lay of the house. He bounded up the stairs and took us down the back way.

Brian didn’t follow.

By the time we got in the car, my breathing had steadied and my heart rate had calmed. Absolute exhaustion battled the adrenaline needed to get the hell away from this place. I couldn’t handle answering any questions about my history or revealing any more than I already had. The gig was up, and it was a matter of time before Brian wanted answers.

During the drive, Mark gratefully hadn’t said anything, only chancing a few glances toward me, mostly likely to ensure he didn’t have to GPS it to the nearest hospital. After pulling up at the hotel, he put the car in park, apparently intending to get out with me.

I held up my hand. “I’m better now, thank you.”

He hesitated. “I realize we don’t know one another very well, Sasha, but Brian insisted I see you up to your room.”

“Then he’ll have to get over it,” I snapped. Wincing at my tone, I felt the tears threaten again. “I’m sorry, Mark. Look, I have to do this by myself. You can tell him I wouldn’t let you up.” I couldn’t handle one more sympathetic look today.

He sighed. “No need to apologize. And I know this isn’t my place, but I have to say it. Brian may have screwed up, but he’s one of the best guys I know.”

Yes, he was. Even in messing up, he’d managed to be tender and kind, wanting nothing more than an opportunity to explain himself. My panic attack had only confirmed that my reaction had been out of proportion to the problem. The Sasha he knew would’ve read him the riot act and left with her head held high. Instead, I’d hit rock bottom with plenty of witnesses to my shame. And on top of everything else, I’d ruined Kenzie’s graduation party.

I turned toward Mark before getting out of the car. “Then the issue is obviously me.”

* * *

Packing quickly,I knew I was on borrowed time. When Brian came back to the room, I intended to be gone. My pounding head made it challenging, however, and I had no choice but to move slower than usual. After glancing around the room one last time, I wheeled my suitcase toward the door. Briefly, I thought about my work phone in the safe and dismissed it. I didn’t have the combination anyhow.

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