Page 88 of Without Regret

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

Emma

Love. It used to be the thing I’d never dared to dream of. But now that I was standing at the precipice of a cliff, I could dive in or I could stand there not taking the chance. Not having a clue what awaited me at the bottom. Being scared of the what-if’s and never knowing. Or I could live my life without regret. Knowing no matter what the result, at least I’d taken the chance.

It was nearly three o’clock in the afternoon when I woke up in bed with Trevor. He slept like the dead after traveling, so I didn’t wake him. Instead, I dressed quietly, turned on my phone, and texted Simon. And because I didn’t want Trevor to worry, I penned him a short note telling him I was meeting Simon for a drink and would be back.

My boss and long-time friend knew the place without me having to tell him. How poetic to come full circle to the Manhattan pub where I’d first spilled all of my past to him in a drunken upchuck of information five long years ago. He’d shared his as well. We’d bonded. Then fought hangovers the next morning while trying to carry on a meeting. Now, there was true friendship for you.

I slid into the booth and met his concerned eyes. “Hi.”

“Hi. How are things?”

I took a deep breath. “Better now. He loves me.” I wasn’t sure why I just blurted it out, but Simon didn’t look shocked by it. Instead, he smiled.

“Of course he does.”

He signaled the waitress, and we both ordered pints along with a basket of pretzels. I didn’t hesitate inhaling the carbs.

“I don’t want to screw this up.” I meant it. If I was attempting this relationship thing, I needed to be all in.

“Then don’t.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

He laughed. “It is. Will you ever cheat on him?”

I was offended. “Of course not.”

“Lie to him?”

“Never again.”

“Those are the only deal-breakers I can think of. So, if you don’t do those things, and you trust him to do the same, what’s the problem?”

I blew my hair out of my face in exasperation. “I’m moody and sometimes need space to myself.”

“Then tell him that. Take a day. A night. Hell, a weekend. Recharge. I’m no different.”

“But you love spending time with Peyton.”

“I do, but similar to you, I’m used to my space, having had it to myself for many years. But sometimes now when I do get that, it makes me all the more anxious to get home. Having separation sometimes brings you together. Life-work balance.”

“For the first time, that phrase doesn’t freak me out.” To have a life outside of work sounded good instead of scary. Changing subjects, I had to ask, “Are you sure you want to resign from Phillip? I don’t want you doing it for me.”

He took my hand across the table, a rare show of affection between us. “Absolutely. In a way, the whole thing just made it easier to do now what I eventually wanted to do anyway. I love you like a sister, Emma. Always have. And when someone hurts my family, I no longer want an association with them. I wish you would’ve told me about Tom earlier.”

I swallowed hard, fighting the emotion over hearing a second person today tell me they loved me. “I was too ashamed. And by the time he joined the team, I didn’t want it to ruin the best job I’d ever had working for you.”

“I assumed as much. But understand nothing you could ever tell me would make me feel different about you. Unless, of course, you stop drinking Guinness with me. In that case, I will definitely have to reevaluate our friendship.”

I let out a laugh, squeezing his hand. “Thank you.”

He squeezed back before returning to his pint. “Don’t thank me yet. I have a whole slew of tasks waiting for you with our new venture. Assuming you will come work for me again?”

As if I’d say no. “Of course I will. What did Phillip say, by the way, when you resigned?” I was curious if Simon had told him everything.

“He said he’d fire Tom if I stayed. I told him I’d continue to consult for the next six months, but only if I never had to see Tom again. I added that he still should fire his nephew as he’s a liability. Last I heard, he’s out of a job.”

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