Page 138 of The Influencer

“I lost track of him like twenty minutes ago. He’s probably fucking drinking.”

“Let’s take a walk,” I say.

Without hesitation, Adam starts walking, like he can escape his own engagement party. But the further we get from the restaurant, the quieter the night is, and the more he comes back to himself.

“You haven’t reached out since that day at your apartment,” he says. “You must be pretty pissed at me.”

“You haven’t reached out either.”

“I was hoping you would first. I still don’t even know what ended up happening after Jax and I left, you know?”

“Jade came over and he helped me get my stuff out.”

“Yeah?”

My silence works as affirmation.

“Did he come with you tonight?” Adam asks.

“He did.”

“I barely noticed. I’m sorry.”

I could be annoyed with that, but I shrug it off. “Don’t worry about it.”

“How’s it going with you guys?”

“I moved in with him,” I say. “For now.”

“Are you two like…?”

I’m sure he expects me to finish the sentence for him, but he’s gonna have to do it himself. What Jade and I are and aren’t is specific. I can’t think of any generalizations that apply. “Like what?”

“A couple?”

“We’re not really defining things in those terms. He has to leave in a couple of months, and I’ve got a lot to figure out, but we’re good for now.”

“That’s really cool, Ash.”

I huff a laugh. “What’s cool about it?” I ask because I feel like a hot mess.

“That you’re not getting too attached. That you respect what you’re going through right now, and you aren’t trying to force something…”

Recognizing my opening, I stop walking. “Adam. I need to say something to you.”

He pauses and turns to look at me. “What’d I say? Are you gonna yell at me again? Because I’ll be honest, I don’t know how much more I can deal with tonight with all this,” he says, making a vague gesture in the direction of his party.

“I’m not gonna yell at you. I just need you to understand I’ve changed. I don’t expect you to understand what went down with me and Liv, and I don’t expect you to comprehend what’s up with me and Jade. What I do need, though, is for you to stop seeing some fat, stoned loser with no life when you look at me. I’m not that guy anymore. Maybe you liked him better. He was easy. But the last two years have shredded him to pieces. He no longer exists except as an embarrassing reminder of what happens when I forget I’m not actually an extension of you.”

Adam stares at me, and I can’t tell if the pinch in his brow is hurt, confusion, or defensiveness. That’s how far apart we’ve grown. I can no longer read my twin brother’s face. “That’s not what I see,” he whispers. “That’s not what I’ve ever seen.”

“Enlighten me, then.”

“Asher, you’re my best friend.”

I shake my head. “Try again. You and I both know that’s not true anymore.”

His lips part in surprise. Honestly, it hurts to say it as much as I’m sure it hurts him to hear it. “If you had just listened to me about Olivia in the first place we wouldn’t be?—”

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