Page 137 of The Influencer

Not because he got in Olivia’s face, and not because he was justifiably angry with her for being a bitch. I’m angry because I finally realized the way he sees me. As someone who doesn’t know what’s good for him. Someone who can’t speak for himself, and someone too weak to do the hard shit.

I’m angry because that’s exactly who I’ve been for as long as I can remember. So, he’s not wrong. I’ve just been having a hard time dealing with where our relationship stands. How unbalanced it must feel to him. How disappointing he must find me.

I’d asked him to leave that day because I’d been both angry at myself and humiliated. Jax had seen, Olivia had certainly taken notice, and for the first time, I saw it, too—the depth and breadth of my cowardice. My fear. How deeply fucked up I am. How codependent I’d become even as I rotted from the inside out.

I think the twin thing has a lot to do with it—my fear of being alone. I don’t know if it’s true for all twins, or if it’s just an Adam and me thing, but the first time we’ve ever lived apart was when he got traded to Philly just a few months after we’d moved to LA. I would have gone, too, and maybe I should have because I wouldn’t have gotten in so deep with Olivia, but Sawyer was the one who went and took my place at Adam’s side. Sawyer was and is my brother’s world—his everything—his new addiction. And from what I can tell, the feeling between them is mutual.

Which, with hindsight being twenty-twenty, is what I can now see left me so vulnerable to Olivia. And, again, in retrospect, how she lost all respect for me. I just turned myself into a doormat and took her thinly veiled abuse on the off chance that maybe somehow, she was operating in my best interest, and I had a lesson or two to learn about what it meant to be a man on his own in this world.

At any rate, Adam still owes me an apology, but I guess I owe him one, too.

The engagement party is huge. The amount of people is overwhelming. The music is loud, and the low lighting makes it hard to see. Jade plucks a flute of champagne off a tray from a passing server the moment we walk in the door and downs it in one quick gulp. His other hand is tightly inside mine, and I don’t plan on letting it go anytime soon.

The first familiar face I see is Vince Rossi—who probably would have been the best man if Adam didn’t have to ask me to do it. Vince looks great in a perfectly cut suit, his hair styled back without a strand out of place, and those piercing dark eyes that make it feel like he can read your thoughts. His full lips break into a smile at the sight of me, but his gaze drifts quickly to Jade who would steal any spotlight with how beautiful he looks tonight. Or any time, really.

“We’ve met,” Vince says, extending Jade a hand.

I take Jade’s empty glass so he can greet Vince. “Remind me?” Jade says.

“At Gideon’s party,” Vince has to practically shout. “I’m Vince Rossi.”

“Oh, right. Hi.” Jade’s smile is fucking blinding as they shake hands.

Vince glances between the two of us, noting our clasped hands and, I’m guessing, sizing us up as a couple. “It’s great that you both came out,” he says.

“I’ve been out,” Jade says with a smirk.

Jesus.

But Vince laughs before I have a chance to respond with a more appropriate sentence.

And then Adam is there, crowding my personal space and asking for a minute. Before I can say no, he’s literally ripping me away from Jade and steering me to the front door of the restaurant. I take a look over my shoulder to check on Jade, but the crowd has already swallowed him up. I’m not worried about him. I just prefer him closer to me than not. But Adam doesn’t seem to give a shit.

Once we’re out front, my brother leads me several yards from the entrance and whirls on me. “Nice of you to show up.”

I can’t do much more than gape. He’s in a mood I recognize all too well. He doesn’t do well at parties any more than I do. He’s actually probably the worst of the two of us. “Of course I showed up.”

“You’re late.”

“How late? Like an hour? Isn’t that normal for this kind of thing?”

“You’re the best man. You’re supposed to be with me.”

“Sorry, Adam, I just… Are you okay?”

“No. I hate this shit. I’m getting a fucking contact high off all the booze in this place, and I don’t want Gideon planning any more parties like this. You’ve gotta step up. This isn’t fun for me.”

Whoa.

I guess I’ll put the whole apology thing on hold for now.

“Breathe,” I tell him, my hands on his face so we can look each other in the eye.

He nods and takes a deep breath with me.

“Again,” I say.

We go through the familiar ritual several more times until he sighs and says he’s okay. “Where’s Sawyer?” I ask.

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